Ellen Degeneres was a category on “Family Feud” recently — specifically, “Things Everyone Knows About Ellen Degeneres” — and the Sutton family hit a few bumps along the way. When it came round to ol’ Dad, he went with “She doesn’t like our country,” which surprisingly was not one of the top five entries in the survey. I thought it was common knowledge that gay people hate America. Especially gay people in Hollywood. Those are the America-hatin’-est Americans in America.
But really: who actually dislikes America? It’s not that long of a list. Osama bin Laden, sure. Sean Penn. Foreigners who get their asses kicked by us in war and the Olympics. And snot-nosed college kids who’ve been reading Noam Chomsky and speak out against America while they exercise their freedom of speech and get a six-figure education within our borders. Oh man, I can’t decide who I want to punch the most. The logical choice is bin Laden, but don’t underestimate my hatred for Sean Penn or college kids.
[BuzzFeed]
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That dickhead that protests troop funerals because America hasn’t killed all the gays probbaly deservs our scorn more than college kids – most of them will get a clue eventually.
And Spencer Pratt is at the top of my punch list.
“who actually dislikes America”
Non-Americans? And Johnny Depp.
How the fuck did “She’s ugly and dresses like a man” not make the list?
Also, NBC hates America. Jay Leno still having a job, and Conan not having one is proof of this.
Look, I really want to love my country. But 10 seconds of watching Jersey Shore, Real Housewives, and the Kardashians makes it pretty fucking hard.
I hate America……Ferrera. Fuck you Ugly Betty.
“She doesn’t like our country very well” … that just means that she may like our country, but she’s just not good at it.
I was always under the assumption that Cobra hated America pretty bad.
Wait, why wasn’t the host kissing all the female contestants? I thought this was the Feud.
He’s just an ignorant fuck – which means more lesbian porn for me!
also #6: Her girlfriend is HOT and super funny. Portia de Rossi FTW
I can’t believe that dude gets to fuck Lindsay Bluth…
Alec Baldwin hates Team America, does that count?
“And snot-nosed college kids who’ve been reading Noam Chomsky and speak out against America while they exercise their freedom of speech and get a six-figure education within our borders”
I swear to you, I saw this yesterday as I was walking across campus coming back to my office from a meeting. I made a snide comment at him as I passed about giving all the money back for his education.
WINNER WINNER VAGINA DINNER
I hate America too…but what does Ellen Degeneres have to do with the fat chick from Ugly Betty?
What’s the big deal? I don’t like country music either. That’s what we’re talking about, right?
Lesbians love America. They’d just assume cut off Florida rather than have it all dangly down there.
An awful lot more people dislike America than what Matt put here. Like, billions more people dislike America, for a lot of good reasons. That said, as a non-American who never stop travelling, a lot more people like America a lot more now that Obama’s in office instead of Bush. Like, say whatever you like about Obama but he has infinitely improved America’s appearance to other countries.
@Nickjaa said: “Obama has infinitely improved America’s appearance to other countries.” If you mean “as a doormat,” then I agree.
*sigh* I knew one of these would find their way in here.
@Nickjaa: If you live in Iraq or Afghanistan and your family has been affected by war there you might have “a lot of good reasons” to dislike America, however even those reasons would be misguided unless you’re a member of Al Qaeda or the Taliban and want those two factions to succeed.
If you’re not a member of the above groups, stfu. What, we don’t give enough to the world? We aren’t constantly providing both Federally funded and private aid to anyone in trouble, regardless of who our President is? Go here to refresh you memory: [www.usaid.gov]
You and your family don’t enjoy the security provided either directly by the US or by a US-led coalition of nations that are sworn to protect you? And we do all of this in spite of spoiled f*cks like you who chose to ignore our contributions in favor of blaming us for everything from global warming to the price of whatever crap you guys eat for breakfast in your country.
We’re not perfect, but show me one nation on earth who is. Next time you poise your fat fingers above your laptop to sound off about the US or whoever our citizens have elected to office, as yourself what the f*ck YOUR country or YOUR elected leaders have done lately. My guess is not much.
Fuck Tina Fey that scar faced bitch! She’s about as funny as an ESPN commercail. Fuck that dyke Ellen too!
HURR DEMOCRATS AND REPUBLICANS
i would get a sex change to have sex with portia de rossi… she is hot