“Grey’s Anatomy” had its season finale last night, and I have no idea what happened because (a) the last 48 hours have been a blur of booze, humidity, gambling, and creole sauce, and (b) I wouldn’t watch the show if I were on fire and the episode was an instructional video on how to stop being on fire. But series creator Shonda Rimes opened up her stupid yaphole about it:
It hurt to write this finale. It literally hurt me.
Bitch, it did not LITERALLY hurt you. It metaphorically hurt you. Christ, that’s irritating. Shonda Rimes has the verbal dexterity of a 23-year-old former sorority girl working in PR.
Dear readers, please take note: “literally” means “actually” or “without exaggeration.” It gets abused and used by idiots who think it means the opposite. If you hear someone misuse the word, correct them. Or slap them. Or if it’s Shonda Rimes, push her into freeway traffic.
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She’s a woman, so I assume that (like my secretary) she’s doing a lot of typing. So maybe she’s suffering from carpal tunnel syndrome.
horray for reuse of GRAYS ANATOMY MURDER FIRE BORING tag
Maybe she stabbed herself with a pen while writing it. In that case writing it would have literally hurt her.
I barely passed English in high school, and I even know how to properly use “literally.”
If I have done nothing else for my country, I have created the GRAYS ANATOMY MURDER FIRE BORING tag. Where’s my Medal of Freedom?
I literally can’t overstate my excitement about the proliferation of Slothrop’s “GRAY’S ANATOMY MURDER FIRE BORING” tag. Love him or not, that was genius.
The wife had it on in the background, a gunman walked around the hospital apparently with a pistol and 300 clips, and shot everybody for 2 hours, the police couldn’t come inside because it was on lockdown. Lockdown as in police couldn’t come in not that the gunman couldn’t get out. He was there so long that they were performing surgery on people who were shot in that same episode and the gunman showed up to shoot them again. Did I mention everybody got shot? It literally hurt her because it was the most retarded script she’s ever written which is saying a lot for a writer of Greys Anatomy.
Nice blog post, Ted Mosby.
Read the whole thing:
But here’s the thing. It hurt to write this finale. It literally hurt me. Because in order to write these episodes, I had to walk in the shoes of Gary Clark. I had to think like a shooter. A person who would shoot Reed and Alex and Charles. A person who would shoot Derek. By the time I finished writing part one, I was sick. And depressed. Because my McDreamy – and I think you all will forgive me for believing he is more mine than anyone else’s because c’mon, I wrote my dream guy saying my dream things which is the reason I am single and the reason he is mine – my McDreamy was lying on my beloved catwalk dying. Mer is screaming and he is dying. And, before you have me shot up with Thorazine and placed in a strait jacket, yes, I DO I know it’s a only TV show, I’m not insane, but dude…it felt too real. It felt WAY too real.
She used it correctly, as she felt sick and depressed.
“the verbal dexterity of a 23-year-old former sorority girl working in PR.”
Those girls always have great oral dexterity, though.
How do you know she didn’t write it with broken fingers and a lit tiki torch in her vagina?
Dear Shonda, while he dresses the part, Doctor Cat is literally NOT a doctor.
+1 Johnford. HIMYM references are few and far between.
Also, at one point, the SWAT team drops the shooter with a shot to the shoulder. Rather than swarming him, as they would do in real life, Rhimes’ SWAT team just let him get up and walk around the hospital shooting people for another 35 minutes. It was literally insanely stupid.
Also, screw whoever wrote TV Guide’s episode preview and erroneously said there would be a fire at Meredith’s house. NO ARSON ruins my tag.
Awww, I want to give Fat Cat a great big hug. But that bitch Heigl is in the way.
A few years back, one of the Final Four announcers said that Mateen Cleaves’ teammates were “literally feeding off him.”
I guess getting eaten alive by your college teammates would’ve been better than the slow death he experienced in Detroit, but still…
@ Bert Bert
Also found on that same webpage was this:
“Shonda,
Thank you so much for giving me some hope for Mark and Lexie. It keeps me hanging on. And those looks Mark gave her…Poor thing.”
Needless to say, everyone associated with that show is fucking retarded.
Crazy dude shoots a bunch of people, the people viewers care about miraculously survive, expendable characters no one gave a shit about die. Must have really killed her to write that.
Turns out it was all a dream though and Bobby Ewing is okay.
Years from now, Slothrop will be hailed as a god for his brilliance in creating the GRAYS ANATOMY MURDER FIRE BORING tag.
Literally.
Seeing that word misused makes me so angry my head literally explodes.
Nothing is worse than the new Caravan commercial where the voice-over says it “literally gave birth to every other minivan.” Vans don’t have vaginas! If they did I would have found it by now!
I don’t know if it caused her anguish it would literally hurt her.
[xkcd.com] That is all.
Last season on MNF, Jaworski said that “Peyton Manning [was] LITERALLY, ON FIRE.”
Works well with two facets of this post.