
Friends, readers, and cat enthusiasts: I’m sorry to say that I won’t be around much for the next 48 hours. I’m off to an undisclosed location to see one of my old Marine sergeants get commissioned as a second lieutenant. For security purposes, I can’t say where I’m going, but I’ve provided some subtle clues in the banner image.
Anyway, I’ve assembled a lineup of guest writers that includes SB Nation’s Jon Bois and Uproxx contributors Danger Guerrero and Slothrop to keep this place from getting cobwebs, so you won’t have to go without television news. I’ll be back Friday afternoon, and I’ll be poking my head in from time to time to make sure everyone’s behaving. I don’t want to see ANYONE in here wearing pants, you understand?



I’m going to go out on a limb and say Matt is going to New Orleans.
I don`t get it. Are the dogs with sunglasses a clue or are the just artistic representation of you and the Marine sergeant?
I hope Douche Cat and Sombrero Cat are staying here to entertain us. Cats don’t like to travel, you know.
Have fun in Salt Lake City!
NO PANTS! SIR YES SIR!
*quickly removes pants while at office. Co-Workers stare oddly in his direction*
Hey Im just following orders.
have fun at China Buffet
bring us back some beads and a black hurricane w/ extra sludge. i like mine w/ hay.
Since when is the location of a commissioning ceremony a big secret?
You’re going to fat camp, aren’t you?
Brees-Dog loves to travel too, but doesn’t get to take as many trips now that he’s married. But he’d like to introduce you to his friend Matt, who did quite a bit of traveling when he was serving in the Marine Corps.
Not one but two step dads. Is this going to be like that show “My Two Dads”? Let me guess, Danger G. is the Paul Reiser character.
/Consecutive days with a Paul Reiser mention at WG = 3
Brees-Dog would never poop in your yard. In fact, he will clean up your dog’s shit and put it in his yard. That’s just the kind of dog that he is.
Mardi Gras Dog gets 3 or 4 times as many beads as normal.
“Since when is the location of a commissioning ceremony a big secret?”
Why am I picturing Pesci in “Goodfellas” right about now?
Have fun in Indianapolis
Brees-Dog killed that gopher that’s been digging up your
cannabis patchflower beds.More Danger Guerrero yay!
Make me laugh DG, make me laugh.
What day do you want your room at Betty Ford ready?
@ UU
Let me guess, Danger G. is the Paul Reiser character.
How fucking DARE you?!
Are you going to doggie heaven? I hear that in doggie heaven there are mountains of bones, and you can’t turn around without sniffing another dog’s butt!
I love weekend Dad. He lets us stay up late, watch R rated movies, and eat ice cream. DG is the best.
@KnowsNothingAboutPopCulture:
If the dogs were representing Matt and his sergent, they’d be humping.