Ugh.

Not that I have enough influence for anyone to give a rat’s ass, but I almost never link to stories from Deadline Hollywood because (a) the font the website uses is terrible, (b) the writing isn’t broken into digestible paragraphs, and (c) most importantly, editor Nikki Finke is an overrated rancid c*nt. Just an awful, egomaniacal, Machiavellian organism that no longer has any identifiable human traits (the inset picture is the only known photo of her on the Internet, probably because she now looks something like this.)

Naturally, because Hollywood is Hollywood, HBO’s going to make TV show about a character just like her:

Diane Keaton has signed on to play the title role in HBO’s Tilda, a half-hour comedy pilot about a powerful and much-feared Hollywood blogger who may or may not be loosely based on powerful and much-feared Hollywood blogger Nikki “Toldja!” Finke.

Additionally, Ellen Page (Juno) has been tapped to costar as Carolyn, a morally conflicted creative assistant caught between following the corporate culture of the studio she works for and following Tilda, who has taken a keen interest in her. [Ausiello]

Frankly, I liked it better when it was called The Devil Wears Prada. Suffice to say, I’d rather watch “Entourage” than anything that might add to Finke’s coffers:

HBO is trying to make a deal with litigious showbiz blogger Nikki Finke. The network is negotiating an arrangement with Finke to bless “Tilda”… The deal isn’t done, and, as anyone who has dealt with the fiery Finke will understand, it could fall apart until the moment it’s 100% signed. But multiple sources say talks are serious and HBO has made an offer to bring her on board.

Finke would be paid, but the arrangement might not be a traditional life-rights acquisition. We’re told talks have centered on a per-episode “consultant” fee for the show, which chronicles the exploits of an aggressive middle-aged blogger and the studio executives she torments. [THR, Esq.]

Preferred outcome: Finke’s bitchy litigiousness forces HBO to cancel the show, Ellen Page’s career falls apart and she settles for me, Finke suffers a freak stabbing-and-buried-alive-accident in Death Valley, and… well, from there, I don’t really care. I’m pretty satisfied with me getting Ellen Page and Nikki Finke having a painful death.