Charlie Sheen to Do Hard Time. At an Aspen Theater.

Sheen was the keynote speaker at the 2009 National Lesbian Convention

Charlie Sheen will get a 30-day jail sentence for the 3rd degree misdemeanor assault guilty plea he’ll enter stemming from the time

We’ve learned Charlie will work at Theatre Aspen, a renowned professional theater, where he will coach actors, help in the fundraising department and perform various other tasks.  Although it is work release, Charlie will not accept a salary.

We’re told Charlie will still be considered an inmate at the jail.  He will be free to leave jail at 8 AM for work every day but he must return by 8 PM… Charlie will be in court Monday at 4 PM, where the plea bargain and work release plan will be formally submitted to the judge.  Assuming all goes well, Charlie will check in at the jail later [today]. [TMZ]

Wow, a jail sentence in which he has to spend at least HALF his time in jail! And the rest of it will be the backbreaking labor of talking to thespians and schmoozing with wealthy people, for which the highest paid actor on television WON’T EVEN BE PAID. When we see him on the next season of “Two and a Half Men,” he’ll be a changed man. The puckish twinkle in his eye will be gone, his innocence lost in the desolate hell of a ski resort town… IN THE OFF-SEASON!