Forgotten Classics: Kristen Stewart & Dave Coulier with a Vuvuzela

Today’s Forgotten Classic is a 1999 Disney Channel original movie called The Thirteenth Year. The still here shows Dave Coulier with a vuvuzela, which is either an incredible anachronism — vuvuzelas weren’t mass-produced until 2001 — or some very good Photoshopping, as evidenced by the reflection of the horn on the car door.

The Thirteenth Year also features an appearance by an eight- or nine-year-old Kristen Stewart, who captivates in her one scene as Girl in Fountain Line. You can really believe she’s waiting in line to drink from a water fountain. Dynamite contribution.

Wait, did I not mention the plot? Oh baby, the plot’s the best part! Yes, EVEN BETTER THAN DAVE COULIER WITH A VUVUZELA.

A boy, adopted by a loving family after finding him caught in a fisherman’s net as a baby, grows up to realize the true reason of his talent as a star junior high competitive swimmer: he is actually a male mermaid, or a “mer-man”. Faced with a tough decision to pursue his true lineage or stay with his friends on land, he realizes that his definition of “family” might not be as traditional as he thought. [Wikipedia]

Ooohh, sounds crappy and gay! Let’s watch the trailer!

Some teens go through puberty and realize they’re gay. Some go through puberty and realize they’re mer-men. And, by proxy, gay.