This is a screencap from the results page of Oprah Winfrey’s “Your Own Show” contest for her OWN Network. You might be saying, “Hey, what about that Zach Anner fellow? You know, the charismatic wheelchair guy with cerebral palsy? Didn’t he have a lot of votes?” And the answer is yes. Yes, he did have a lot of votes. And even though Oprah and her cronies already went through one round of tampering with the online voting to work against Anner, they apparently decided, “Hey, that wasn’t quite enough. Let’s just take six million votes away from the leading candidate.” Even South American dictators are all, “Whoa, that’s pretty egregious.”
Anyway, Anner finished seventh in the obviously rigged voting and still has a chance to be a contestant on an OWN show to get his own show (wait, what?), but he’s already destined for bigger things: Reddit has started a campaign to make Anner “The Daily Show’s” Senior Travel Correspondent. Man, I hope that works out. I don’t want Zach anywhere near Oprah’s handicapped-hating clutches. She’s basically a Bond villain at this point. I’m shocked she doesn’t host her show while petting a cat. Which, coincidentally, would make her fans love her even more.
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She made it clear Zach wasn’t getting it when she declared, “REMOVE THE HANDICAP RA-AMMMMMMMMMPS!”
Believe it or not, Oprah DID have cats on her very first shows. Over time, though, it became too expensive to replace the ones she kept eating.
Look at the winner’s show description, get fucking bent.
Owww look at me I’m Jacqueline, I’m making people Happy! I’m the magical woman, from Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane!
Now THAT’S sarcasm.
Oprah’s not there to make friends.
+1s all around, boys.
Take the rest of the day off. Pretend you’re Ufford.
/pretends to be Matt
//takes of pants
///drinks whiskey
I live Dr. Roach’s life philosophy every day. In fact, I’m doing it right now to that picture of a cracked out Lindsay Lohan at the bottom of this page.
Tony wants people to see a new day and a new life through self-love.
She’s okay with a masturbation coach but not a funny dude with a handicap? This guy couldn’t teach me shit about doin’ the deed. Fuck Oprah.
Fuck you Oprah. Fuck you right in your racist, sexist, cellulite-iest, lesbian, fat ass.
And you get a car. And you get a car. And you get a car. And you get a van with a wheelchair lift!
It’s disgusting. The kid manages to get the people behind him, and they pull the rug out from under his paralyzed legs at the height of his success.
I have no qualms with the other contestants, the kindergarten teacher actually has alot of spunk. But do you really have to cheat to beat a handicapped kid, is that what you want from life?
Just another day for people without a conscience I guess…
She stole 3MM votes from Jasbina too — what about Jasbina? Just because she’s not in a wheelchair doesn’t mean she’s not also handicapped. In fact, I think all the candidates are … as well as the entire cast of The Hills, RIP.
/WTF is a Jasbina?
Oprah’s video response to this. [www.youtube.com]
Talk about bullshit.
1) Underdog summed it up. The fucking candyland girl.
2) Teachers are the mothers to all professions? Fuck that. Unless this is about female teachers seducing their male students (it IS Florida), fuck this shit.
3) What the fuck? Overcoming obstacles? How about a guy in a wheelchair hosting an Oprah show? No? Is this like cake boss meets pit boss? More sunshine up my ass.
4) Embrace. Enhance. Empower. To get people talking? What the fuck is this shit? Wasn’t that Hitler’s plan for the Jews? **reads wikipedia** Not quite.
5) A new day and a new life because the fucker learned to read? Wow, is this going to be about hobo panhandling? Are you shitting me. Self love, JHC covered that one.
6) You have THREE FUCKING MUSIC DEGREES? Your as useful as Terry Schiavo on Jeopardy. Bitch join the fucking state department if you want to help people get along.
All of this people seem over the top sunshine and happiness and puppy dog kisses. The one guy who seems the most grounded in reality and not fantasy land is in a wheelchair, yet is the most humorous and pleasant without being suffocating.