The Late Show (CBS, Friday) — Johnny Depp and Megan Fox are the guests. Yup, they’re really god-looking. And yet CBS will probably still cut away from them to show Paul Shaffer and the cancerous bald penis that passes as his head guffawing at Dave’s jokes. I want to beat that guy to death with his own keyboard.
Whale Wars (Discovery, Friday) — Remember when the Japanese whalers messed up the hippies’ precious speedboat? That’s this episode.
The Bridge (CBS, Saturday) — This is a Canadian show that debuted last week. It may shock you to learn that it’s a police procedural. On CBS of all places! Crazy, right?
Doctor Who (BBC America, Saturday) — One of my favorite things about Warming Glow readers is that no one tries to cajole me into watching this show. It’s like, thanks, but I’ll wait until the American remake improves upon the original. Also, British food sucks, England would speak German if not for the U.S. of A., and the England soccer team isn’t even good any more. Oh, and the queen’s a slut. I think that about covers it.
Expedition Great White (NatGeo, Saturday) — I’m not sure why we need three hours of this or what Paul Walker’s doing there (probably sitting around with his mouth open), but hey: sharks!
True Blood (HBO, Sunday) — I still haven’t watched last Sunday’s episode. Did I miss any titties? Because I’m not gonna bother watching if there weren’t any titties.
The Gates (ABC) — Finally! A vampire show on Sundays!
Holly’s World (E!, Sunday) — Whoa, Holly Madison has her own reality show? I had no idea. I’m sure it’s because she’s so “charismatic” *blowjob motion*
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Matt, True Blood had titties, and it has the scene with Sookie in bra and panties (from the season trailer), but it wasn’t very exciting, except all the parts with Eric, ***daydreams of Eric***
Oh yeah, that is about it.
TCM has Tod Browning’s Freaks on in prime time tonight. Join me, you sick, sick f**ks.
True Blood is the same violence- and nudity-filled cheesefest it’s always been.
And I love it for that.
“Yup, they’re really god-looking.”
God has some super tits.
More importantly, AMC and AT&T finally reached a deal and now I will not be deprived of the Mad Men premiere next week. FUCK YOU, BOIS!!!
The bridge is the most hilariously terrible show I’ve ever seen make it to prime time. Being Canadian I’ve already been submitted to previews involving the main character turbo acting through one liners. My favorite is still “Roid rage, it’s worse than coke!” I’m still trying to figure out what that means.
@Aeyo’s Cot: Thanks for the heads up – I’ve been meaning to watch that.
I wonder if True Blood set the bar too high for themselves and everyone else with that vampire hate f*** scene. While battling with insomnia a few weeks ago I happened to turn the TV on at the very moment that scene began, and ever since I’ve had zero interest in the show.
There were only a lot of shirtless vampires in last week’s ep, but you do see a brief scene at the beginning of Sookie (in the season trailer) from Northman’s dream.
“Cancerous bald penis”..Out-standing
The Queen likes Corgis, so she’s got that going for her.
Whoa Matt!
Our food does not suck. We don’t get American chefs coming over here and telling us how to cook. You lot get Jamie Oliver, Gordon Ramsey and Nigella Lawson going over there to teach you how to cook and eat properly.
English football sucks yes, but you still needed the English keeper to miss the ball completely for you to get a point remember?
The Queen is not a slut. An inbred stuck up bitch yes, but not a loose woman with no morals.
I shouldn’t have had that last drink.
Either the Megan Fox/Johnny Depp Late Show is a repeat, or I’m having masturbation deja-vu.
*unzips pants anyway
Uh, Noelix … did you miss the scene where Bill went to a topless bar and got a topless lapdance from a topless
bloodbagdancer? I’m pretty sure there were titties.Also, line of the week from a tearful Sookie: “I don’t have a nutsack.”
Pure, trashy gold.
mad men is a pretentious piece of shit adored by self regarding asshats. its entourage for the try hards.
You said it, wilfred
Also: Treme.
If God looks like Megan Fox, we all better start praying.
Weekend preview, check out a Letterman from over a year ago you fucking retarded readers
Those weren’t nice things you said about England.
We will destroy you.
I for one am glad that he’s a cancerous bald penis. I’ve seen a cancerous hairy penis and it’s no prettier.
Good !