Ultimate Air Jaws / Into the Shark Bite (Discovery, Sunday) — These two one-hour programs kick off Shark Week. And you know what they say:
Rubicon (AMC, Sunday) — Series premiere. Yes, the premiere episode has already been shown twice, but AMC is going to show it again with the not-yet-seen second episode as a lead-in to “Mad Men.” I wasn’t completely wowed by the premiere, but I’m going to stick with it and hope that the slow build leads to a gratifying payoff. Kinda like taking your time when masturbating.
Best Food Ever (TLC, Saturday) — The punctuation for this show is all wrong. It should be “Best. Food. EVER!”
Pit Boss (Animal Planet, Saturday) — I wonder if casino pit bosses are upset that they’re being portrayed as dwarf ex-convicts who work with dogs.
Late Show with David Letterman (CBS, Friday) — Madonna and Harry Connick Jr are the guests, making this the can’t miss late-night show of 1990. Just the way CBS’s viewers like it.
Next Food Network Star (Food, Sunday) — The aspiring Guy Fieris cook for Eva Longoria. Nothing about that sentence is remotely enticing.
Ice Road Truckers (History, Sunday) — Featured this week: the truckers drive on icy roads.