Ultimate Air Jaws / Into the Shark Bite (Discovery, Sunday) — These two one-hour programs kick off Shark Week. And you know what they say:
Rubicon (AMC, Sunday) — Series premiere. Yes, the premiere episode has already been shown twice, but AMC is going to show it again with the not-yet-seen second episode as a lead-in to “Mad Men.” I wasn’t completely wowed by the premiere, but I’m going to stick with it and hope that the slow build leads to a gratifying payoff. Kinda like taking your time when masturbating.
Best Food Ever (TLC, Saturday) — The punctuation for this show is all wrong. It should be “Best. Food. EVER!”
Pit Boss (Animal Planet, Saturday) — I wonder if casino pit bosses are upset that they’re being portrayed as dwarf ex-convicts who work with dogs.
Late Show with David Letterman (CBS, Friday) — Madonna and Harry Connick Jr are the guests, making this the can’t miss late-night show of 1990. Just the way CBS’s viewers like it.
Next Food Network Star (Food, Sunday) — The aspiring Guy Fieris cook for Eva Longoria. Nothing about that sentence is remotely enticing.
Ice Road Truckers (History, Sunday) — Featured this week: the truckers drive on icy roads.
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depends if all the weight goes to eva’s chest or not
Gotta say, I’ve become pretty addicted to The Next Food Network Star over the past few years. Every episode had a 90% chance of titties.
Fette Sau, StarCraft 2 and DVR’d skinemax night!
Who’s laughing now, Lisa!
You bitch answer my texts!
TLC has a food show? Is it all miniature deformed food presented in a way that appeals to women?
I live every week like it’s Shart Week.
Hey Vince you guys look funnier than you sound, so let me drop my hammer on you tootsies: I am a genius. I like to laugh and I also enjoy fun, so don’t stop pleasing me s’il vous plait. The commenters on this site are basically like deckhands on the Moby dick vessels, one trick clowns but regurgitation isn’t a skill so stop lauding their dronism. I know you enjoy being stroked, but the sublime is forgoing simple pleasures like wanking for more difficult pleasures like waiting till you’ve done your chores to wank. These comment whoreslaves will only take you so far, then you’ll go to your long home knowing inside that you never even popped quite the boner you could. These people are holding you back, they got their inspiration flames from the local forest fire that some fratboy twatter started to spite the trees for being able to get woodys. The commenters took a candle and got their wicks toasty, taking on worthless characteristics just to fit a niche in this ecosystem. But I am different, I’ve been waiting to say this for some time: I now know that thou right worship is defiance. Oh, thou clear spirit, of thy gin thou madest me, and like a true child of drunks, I breathe it back to thee. Annoint me a drunkard of the band of drunks! Embrace me play-cousins!
@Fwapping Pillows
What in the fuck was that?
What clan be you there Watermelon? Thy taketh pleasure or ‘av it taken from thee? I ne’er address the softer gonads with legitimate speech, but this ethernet cord doesn’t show me the window to yer soul as well as watching you tie a cock ring knot under pressure. But I guess yer name speaks for itself, ye either give it another man or partake w’other men, thus speak not to me of blasphemy man, I’d strike the Son if it insulted me. There is ever a sort of fairplay on these webs, and one weaver to reap the net. That reaper be me, tarry not at my parlor if ye value life.
@Fwapping Willows: Vince runs FilmDrunk, not Warming Glow.
Yeah, Fwapping. THIS is the sight where the guy talks about how hot he is all the time and posts celebrity gossip, right?
@Matt: Call me Fwap. These comments be a sad sight indeed Farthammer. As for the site, it lacks the golden ticket that accomp’nies all the great oases strewn along this trail of tears we call the web: great, unknown followers eager to write their name on the the sands of time, in invisible ink with an imaginary quill, like young Caveman and Big Daddy once were wont to do. As it stands Matt’s half-hearted toil is th’expense of spirit in a waste of shame, lust with no action. I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all. Here I am, after all time and chance.
This guy can’t even make a deadline let alone make it through Shark Week [www.youtube.com]
Is it Talk Like A Pirate day already?