Raising Sextuplets (We) — I always see clips of this on “The Soup,” and the dad is awesomely negligent. At any given time, he’s one beer away from making the show “Raising Quintuplets.”
Bethenny Getting Married? (Bravo) — As much as I don’t like Bethenny Frankel, what really bothers me is the show’s title. It should be either “Bethenny Getting Married” or “Bethenny’s Getting Married?” As it is, it sounds like a question the Hulk would ask. Anyway, this is the episode where she gives birth. Whooptee-doo.
Big Brother (CBS) — Oooh, a live eviction! It sounds so much cooler than it actually is.
Burn Notice (USA) — Burt Reynolds guest stars. I always love watching Burt Reynolds, because I find his hairpiece fascinating.
River Monsters (Discovery) — No, it’s not about the fish that swims up your peehole. But it should be.
WNBA: Los Angeles at Indiana (ESPN2) — Before you start making fun of women’s basketball, keep in mind that this is probably one of the three or four most interesting things happening in Indiana tonight.
(Sorry for the abbreviated coverage today — I gotta leave the Internet a little early. Be sure to turn the lights out here when you’re done.)