What’s On Tonight: Jennifer Love Hewitt Is a Prostitute

The Client List (Lifetime) — Jennifer Love Hewitt plays a woman who helps her family make ends meet by getting a job at a massage parlor, only to learn she has a special talent for happy endings. Watch the delightful trailer below. (Note: I could have sworn I’d taken screen caps of the trailer and written about this before, but I couldn’t find anything in the archives. Then I realized: it was familiar because of a FilmDrunk post. Stay outta my head, Vince!)

The Real Housewives of New Jersey (Bravo) — There was lots of yelling and hair-pulling on last week’s episode, so expect that clip to be played another 2-3 times during this episode.

Behind the Music: Usher (VH1) — Ooohh, I hope he talks about being in The Faculty!

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno (NBC) — The guests are Don Rickles, Dwyane Wade, and KISS. Don Rickles used to guest-host for Johnny Carson; I suppose it’s too much to hope for an on-air coup?

27 Dresses (FX) — Um, FX? Hi, it’s me, your young male demographic. I’m going to pretend I didn’t see this in the listings.

The Bachelorette (ABC) — Ali has narrowed it down to three bachelors, which means that the season is almost over. Yup, just the two hours tonight, the two-hour “Men Tell All” special, the two-hour finale, and the one-hour “After the Rose” special that will announce the new “Bachelor,” as the phoenix of doomed reality TV engagements once again rises from the ashes of its pyre.