
If you have eyes, you’ve probably seen print ads for CBS’s remake of “Hawaii Five-0,” starring Scott Caan, Daniel Dae Kim (“Lost”), the delicious Grace Park (“Battlestar Galactica”), and the blandly handsome guy that CBS keeps casting in shows that fail (Alex O’Loughlin of ”Three Rivers” and “Moonlight”). Sunday’s New York Times examined the show’s aggressive marketing campaign, and I REALLY hope the last part of this quote is speculation:
The campaign includes commercials on CBS, of course, along with spots on CBS Radio stations and in movie theaters; tune-in ads in newspapers and magazines; aerial ad banners; billboards; and ads on newsstands, atop taxi cabs and in train stations.
And do not be surprised if during a coming National Football League game on CBS, an announcer describes a play on the “five-0” yard line.
Midfield. It’s called midfield. Or simply “the fifty.” Dammit, I’ve waited seven excruciating months for the NFL to come back, I don’t need Dan Dierdorf reminding me to watch a shiny new cop show IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PLAY. (Gus Johnson, however, can call it whatever he wants. I’d let that dude have sex with my wife, as long as he let me listen.)



“And that hit was brought to you by The Big Bang Theory, only on CBS!”
Guest announcer Horatio Caine: “And another sack! But it looks like the quarterback is…
[sunglasses]
…Manning up.”
YEAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
This is worse than Fox calling their post-game show “The OT” a few years back. At least that deal directly with the game.
Sixty Minutes left on the clock.
“Alot of these black players seem to be really Hung well, only on HBO this fall.”
I can’t wait for a CBS announcer to describe a TD run as THE AMAZING RACE to the goal line.
I hope this carries over to the NBA, if only to see Delonte West and Lebron James tussle in the “How I Met Your Mother” 3-second area.
It’s too bad none of the great shows are on CBS or Fox. So many possibilities:
“Well, Joe, it looks like Schaub’s leg has been shattered in four places. Speaking of which, this week on Breaking Bad…”
“Kolb to Jackson for a miraculous touchdown. I guess it’s true what they say: It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia!”
“Darren Sproles is still injured on the field. Call Dr. Blake Downs, because this little guy is headed to Children’s Hospital!”
Actually, scratch that. I’m pretty sure Randy Cross would sprain his brain trying to find a way to work in a reference to The League, much less anything more complicated.
I would not be surprised if the announcer said that, I would be furious.