Congratulations go to Lauren Froderman, who last night was crowned the winner of Season 7 of “So You Think You Can Dance.” I was definitely pulling for her last night, both metaphorically and literally. What can I say, I have a hard spot for women with great bodies.
However, the most buzzworthy moment from the finale came from Ellen DeGeneres’s hip-hop dance with tWitch (video below), who presumably lost because some voters still care about sensible capitalization. It’s impressive; I haven’t seen a lesbian dance like that since… actually, I’ve never seen a lesbian besides Ellen dance before. Although to be fair, it’s hard to dance and scowl at the established patriarchy at the same time.
Aw, I’m just kidding, lesbians. C’mon, I’ll make it up to you. Let’s look at Lauren’s body together.
UPDATE to annoying know-it-alls: I get it, tWitch WASN’T a contestant on this season. He still f*cking lost, didn’t he? Then just accept that I was making a joke about idiotic punctuation and move on with your sorry reality TV show-watching lives.