Japan never ceases to amaze me. As a Western observer, the country appears to be a nation of contradictions. Their pornography includes some of the most vile and disgusting acts imaginable, yet they pixelate the genitalia. They’ve got one of the smartest, most technologically advanced societies in the world, but they are endlessly delighted by the most base entertainment possible (as clicking the JAPAN tag will verify). If the world was a 5th grade class, Japan would be the awkward math whiz who giggles incessantly at the fact that the number 80085 looks like BOOBS on his calculator.
Case in point: the video the banner pic is taken from (clip after the jump). Looking at it, you’re probably thinking, “Hey DG, is that a clip from a Japanese television show where two guys are just BLASTING a smiling model in the face with shaken up champagne?” Yes. Yes it is. And that in itself would be worthy of a post here. But there’s another part to it – and this is where Japan really separates themselves. The clip is filmed with a state of the art, super high speed camera. They took a pretty impressive technological advancement, and used it to document an act that crosses the misogyny of rap videos with a giggly, almost innocent, perversion. Kinda like using the Hubble telescope solely to peep into girls’ locker rooms. Which, by the way, I would in no way put past the Japanese.
All that is to say this: I seriously considered just embedding the video, writing “Champagne B-kkake,” tagging it BEST POST EVER and clicking publish. Because seriously, watch the clip:
via Buzzfeed, who has three more clips.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/51/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/ironman3-smell-o-vision1-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/monkey-valid-point-but-150x150.jpeg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/dragonball11-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/grumpy-cat-mashable-startrek-spock-150x150.jpg)
I could fap to it.
/obligatory
This doesn’t surprise me at all. These are the same people that sell panties and vending machines and have cartoon porn. God bless them!
I think you could have safely called your post “Champagne Boo-Cake”
Thank god they cropped out the bottles so I could properly masturbate to this.
How do you say, “the champagne is not Korbel” in Japanese?
Where the hell is everyone today? It’s not like I need validation or attention or anything, but, uh…
*takes off shirt, gets on stripper pole, acts out, smokes cigarettes*
Stupid iPhone won’t show the movie. How am I supposed to masturbate in traffic?
/not joking
But what did she win the trophy for?
Should have used Asti Spuuuuumanti.
Greatest post about Japan on this blog ever!
*Awaits check from Danger Guerrero*
Tastefully done, and not at all suggestive. Me rikey!
And why the he11 were the spoogers dressed like ninjas? I think she saw them standing there….
FUCK THIS COCAINE IS GOOD! I’m on coke right now, right?
I think the best part of this is how it’s pretty much camera porn. They’re spewing champagne all over but then they cut away to focus on how awesome the camera is. Also, when they were spraying the girl, there were 3 Japanese characters. I don’t read Japanese, so can anyone else confirm it translates to LOL?
This post needs more CHUH CHUH and HE GON DRANK
Where’s Pac Man when you need him.
I will document your champagne defilement with extraordinary clarity!
[www.youtube.com] – har mar superstar music video which is the same kind of thing…. but with Eva Mendez instead of a Japanese chick
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