Unlike Facebook (which got Betty White to host “Saturday Night Live”), Twitter has never started a movement that affected the entertainment industry. But perhaps the sucking void of the “American Idol” judges table can change that.
Two weeks after Ellen Degeneres quit and Kara DioGuardi was fired, Fox is still scrambling for famous names to prop up useless bro-dawg Randy Jackson: Jennifer Lopez had too many demands, Steven Tyler hasn’t committed, and the media has seen fit to parade a list of maybes like Bret Michaels, Shania Twain, Harry Connick Jr, Keith Olbermann, Andy Rooney, Cookie Monster, and Paul the Octopus.
Enter Twitter and the new hash tag #JeffreyRoss4IdolJudge, a movement to get the brutally acerbic insult comic on the judges’ panel. As much as I absolutely love the idea of Ross bringing delusional idiots to tears, we’re never going to see him on “Idol.” Fox needs to appeal to the greatest percentage of drooling simpletons, and the only comic who’s mildly handsome in a non-threatening way with enough inoffensive mass appeal is Dane Cook. Oh dear God please no. Forget I said that. I need to go stand in front of my bathroom mirror with the lights off and say “Jeffrey Ross 4 Idol Judge” three times in a row now.