Ever since Steve Carell confirmed that he was leaving “The Office” after next season, there’s been non-stop chatter about who would replace him as the branch manager at Dunder Mifflin’s Scranton branch. The most recent rumor comes from breathless retard Michael Ausiello at Entertainment Weekly, who claims that sources told him EXCLUSIVELY that NBC has reached out to Danny McBride (“Eastbound & Down”) and Rhys Darby (Murray Hewitt in “Flight of the Conchords”) about joining the cast.
Well, here’s an EXCLUSIVE for you: Michael Ausiello was fed lead paint chips as a baby (probably an assortment of pastels). Because according to MY source, while McBride “WILL show up at some point throughout the series,” Carell’s replacement will be someone else. Just to make this fun, I’ll put it in blind item form: WHICH “Arrested Development” veteran “has already been chosen” to replace Carell and “is being shown the ropes”????? (The extra question marks are there to make you think harder.)
Oh, and if I’m wrong about this, I’ll happily run an update admitting my mistake. Except the part about the paint chips.