This is the trailer for the second season of the CW’s “Vampire Diaries,” also known as “Twilight for Poor Kids” and not to be confused with “Twilight for Sluts” (HBO’s “True Blood”). If I remember correctly from last year, two vampire brothers fall in love with the same girl who looks like the same girl they both fell in love with, like, 200 years earlier. It’s kind of hard to keep everything straight because all of the characters look exactly the same. The vampire brothers are both blandly attractive, and the only reason one of them might stand out is if you remember Ian Somerhalder as Boone from “Lost.” The girls are both pretty brunettes with long hair, and I can’t tell which one’s Elena and which one’s Katherine. Sure, it doesn’t help that I don’t care, but I still feel like I’m in the streets of Tokyo.

[PopWrap]



At least Tokyo has patriarchal dogs wearing hats.
This vampire fad needs to end. Bring back mummies.
SEXY mummies!
It’s Chinatown, Matt. Let it go.
How come theres no shows or movies about sexy Satyrs?
Better yet — if you beat off to sexy mummies, it’s easy clean up.
Sexy mummies would be so easy, you just don’t wrap them all the way. Saves a lot on wardrobe costs too.
Although her name makes her sound like an exotic cross-breed of a Maltese terrier and a Chow, Malese Jow is not unpleasant to look at.
/is imagining Malese Jow wearing nothing more than a few linen strips.
//checks to make sure Malese Jow is eighteen.
///continues fantasizing…
////is interrupted by a call from Human Resources.
Also, I’m not sure it was such a good idea for “The CW” to broadcast a show whose name could be abbreviated as “The VD.”
The reason why you can’t tell them apart is because they are played by the same actress.
I really thought after Clash of the Titans that we’d see a whole sexy kraken phase, but alas.