Here Are The Discovery Hostage Taker’s Insane and Retarded Demands

While the hostage scenario at Discovery Networks headquarters is still ongoing, more details are beginning to emerge about the gunman and his demands. James Lee (inset) was arrested, fined, and sentenced to probation in 2008 for throwing money into a crowd during a protest outside Discovery HQ. He’s in his early 40s and a native of San Diego who now lives in Silver Spring.

I’m watching cable news, and police have just given a statement confirming a small number of hostages and their ongoing effort to negotiate a peaceful settlement with Lee. Until we get more developments, let’s sift through Lee’s demands. His crazy, crazy demands. The short version: he hates “filthy human children,” “parasitic human infants,” war, civilization, and immigration. Likes: forest animals. Buckle up for a long, crazy ride:

The Discovery Channel MUST broadcast to the world their commitment to save the planet and to do the following IMMEDIATELY:

1. The Discovery Channel and it’s affiliate channels MUST have daily television programs at prime time slots based on Daniel Quinn’s “My Ishmael” pages 207-212 where solutions to save the planet would be done in the same way as the Industrial Revolution was done, by people building on each other’s inventive ideas. Focus must be given on how people can live WITHOUT giving birth to more filthy human children since those new additions continue pollution and are pollution. A game show format contest would be in order. Perhaps also forums of leading scientists who understand and agree with the Malthus-Darwin science and the problem of human overpopulation. Do both. Do all until something WORKS and the natural world starts improving and human civilization building STOPS and is reversed! MAKE IT INTERESTING SO PEOPLE WATCH AND APPLY SOLUTIONS!!!!

Translation: “Make sterilization interesting so people will give it a try.” Seems reasonable.

2. All programs on Discovery Health-TLC must stop encouraging the birth of any more parasitic human infants and the false heroics behind those actions. In those programs’ places, programs encouraging human sterilization and infertility must be pushed. All former pro-birth programs must now push in the direction of stopping human birth, not encouraging it.

Actually, that sounds pretty good. You’re 1-for-2, Jim.

3. All programs promoting War and the technology behind those must cease.

Tonight on Discovery: “Surviving the Cut,” featuring Recon Marines.

There is no sense in advertising weapons of mass-destruction anymore. Instead, talk about ways to disassemble civilization and concentrate the message in finding SOLUTIONS to solving global military mechanized conflict. Again, solutions solutions instead of just repeating the same old wars with newer weapons. Also, keep out the fraudulent peace movements. They are liars and fakes and had no real intention of ending the wars. ALL OF THEM ARE FAKE! On one hand, they claim they want the wars to end, on the other, they are demanding the human population increase. World War II had 2 Billion humans and after that war, the people decided that tripling the population would assure peace. WTF??? STUPIDITY! MORE HUMANS EQUALS MORE WAR!

Actually, in the 65 years it’s taken to triple the world’s population, we’ve never come close to a war the size and scope of WWII. I understand that all-capitals feel more convincing, but it’s no substitute for evidence.

4. Civilization must be exposed for the filth it is. That, and all its disgusting religious-cultural roots and greed. Broadcast this message until the pollution in the planet is reversed and the human population goes down! This is your obligation. If you think it isn’t, then get hell off the planet! Breathe Oil! It is the moral obligation of everyone living otherwise what good are they??

He’s got a point. Earth is so passé. C’mon everybody, let’s go to Mars and breathe oil.

5. Immigration: Programs must be developed to find solutions to stopping ALL immigration pollution and the anchor baby filth that follows that. Find solutions to stopping it. Call for people in the world to develop solutions to stop it completely and permanently. Find solutions FOR these countries so they stop sending their breeding populations to the US and the world to seek jobs and therefore breed more unwanted pollution babies. FIND SOLUTIONS FOR THEM TO STOP THEIR HUMAN GROWTH AND THE EXPORTATION OF THAT DISGUSTING FILTH! (The first world is feeding the population growth of the Third World and those human families are going to where the food is! They must stop procreating new humans looking for nonexistant jobs!)

Please note: immigration is okay for Koreans who give their descendants Anglicized first names.

6. Find solutions for Global Warming, Automotive pollution, International Trade, factory pollution, and the whole blasted human economy. Find ways so that people don’t build more housing pollution which destroys the environment to make way for more human filth! Find solutions so that people stop breeding as well as stopping using Oil in order to REVERSE Global warming and the destruction of the planet!

Totally with him on this one. But… uhhh… why does the Discovery Channel have to spearhead this? Shouldn’t he be targeting the United Nations?

Hahaha, of course not. At least the Discovery Channel does something.

7. Develop shows that mention the Malthusian sciences about how food production leads to the overpopulation of the Human race. Talk about Evolution. Talk about Malthus and Darwin until it sinks into the stupid people’s brains until they get it!!

The American two-party system is terrible for this guy. “I hate immigration, but I favor evolutionary science to religion.”

8. Saving the Planet means saving what’s left of the non-human Wildlife by decreasing the Human population. That means stopping the human race from breeding any more disgusting human babies! You’re the media, you can reach enough people. It’s your resposibility because you reach so many minds!!!

I appreciate this wacko’s message about “19 and Kids and Counting,” but it would’ve been a lot more helpful if he’d just bombed the Duggars’ home.

9. Develop shows that will correct and dismantle the dangerous US world economy. Find solutions for their disasterous Ponzi-Casino economy before they take the world to another nuclear war.

Another nuclear war? Is he counting two A-bombs in World War II, or did I sleep through a nuclear war?

10. Stop all shows glorifying human birthing on all your channels and on TLC. Stop Future Weapons shows or replace the dialogue condemning the people behind these developments so that the shows become exposes rather than advertisements of Arms sales and development!

Dude, point number 10 is just points and 1 and 3 combined. We need the Oscars’ symphony to play this guy off.

11. You’re also going to find solutions for unemployment and housing. All these unemployed people makes me think the US is headed toward more war.

It’s what I’ve said all along: euthanize homeless people.

Humans are the most destructive, filthy, pollutive creatures around and are wrecking what’s left of the planet with their false morals and breeding culture.

Fair point. AND THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL MUST FIX IT!

For every human born, ACRES of wildlife forests must be turned into farmland in order to feed that new addition over the course of 60 to 100 YEARS of that new human’s lifespan! THIS IS AT THE EXPENSE OF THE FOREST CREATURES!!!! All human procreation and farming must cease!

This guy wouldn’t be so against procreating if he’d ever gotten laid.

It is the responsiblity of everyone to preserve the planet they live on by not breeding any more children who will continue their filthy practices. Children represent FUTURE catastrophic pollution whereas their parents are current pollution. NO MORE BABIES! Population growth is a real crisis. Even one child born in the US will use 30 to a thousand times more resources than a Third World child. It’s like a couple are having 30 babies even though it’s just one! If the US goes in this direction maybe other countries will too!

Whoa, “maybe”? There’s no room for what-ifs in a madman’s manifesto. This guy really should have made a second draft.

Also, war must be halted.

Agreed. It’s morally wrong.

Not because it’s morally wrong,

Oh.

but because of the catastrophic environmental damage modern weapons cause to other creatures. FIND SOLUTIONS JUST LIKE THE BOOK SAYS! Humans are supposed to be inventive. INVENT, DAMN YOU!!

Dammit Jim! I’m a blogger, not an inventor!

The world needs TV shows that DEVELOP solutions to the problems that humans are causing, not stupify the people into destroying the world. Not encouraging them to breed more environmentally harmful humans.

Saving the environment and the remaning species diversity of the planet is now your mindset. Nothing is more important than saving them. The Lions, Tigers, Giraffes, Elephants, Froggies, Turtles, Apes, Raccoons, Beetles, Ants, Sharks, Bears, and, of course, the Squirrels.

Of course the squirrels.

The humans? The planet does not need humans.

But who will provide the planet with precious sarcasm?

You MUST KNOW the human population is behind all the pollution and problems in the world, and YET you encourage the exact opposite instead of discouraging human growth and procreation. Surely you MUST ALREADY KNOW this!

I want Discovery Communications to broadcast on their channels to the world their new program lineup and I want proof they are doing so. I want the new shows started by asking the public for inventive solution ideas to save the planet and the remaining wildlife on it.

If he wanted the lineup to change, he should have taken hostages during pilot season and upfronts, so Discovery executives could have time to change the fall lineup. It’s an unreasonable timeline.

These are the demands and sayings of Lee.

Ooh, that’s a nice touch. Classy, and yet still evil. Well done, sir.