This Is Fantastically Terrible
Watermelon Girl Speaks!

HOT ACTION FROM C-SPAN 3! (update)

Written by Matt Ufford / 09.28.10

UPDATE: Now with non-crappy video player!

I’m a couple days late posting this, but it’s still worth a couple of your minutes. It’s Stephen Colbert’s testimony on Friday to the House Judiciary Committee’s Subcommittee on Immigration, Citizenship, Refugees, Border Security, International Law, and Pancakes. Wait, not pancakes. Everything before that was right, though.

Anyway, it’s pretty cool to see Stephen Colbert stay in character in the humorless vacuum of Congress. The video is five minutes of Colbert jokes like this:

When you’re picking beans you have to spend all day bending over. It turns out — and I did not know this — most soil is at ground level.

And there’s not even a stifled chuckle. The people in the background barely offer a smile.

I forget sometimes that there are some Serious People out there that are too busy with their Important Serious Jobs to allow waste time with trite feelings like “mirth.” They can’t waste energy smiling when there’s important red tape to make! In a possibly related story, here’s a photo of this blog’s author taken during combat training:

I can’t imagine why I didn’t become a career officer in the Marines.

[more at Mediaite]

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