Shaquille O’Neal delivered a monologue to Jimmy Kimmel’s audience during last night’s episode of “Shaq vs.” (watch the video below). It’s less a monologue than it is a series of jokes that could be used for a roast, if you wanted to bomb at a roast. I know that speaking clearly has never been Shaq’s strong suit — I’m sure it’s a trade-off when your pituitary makes you 7-1 and 340 pounds — but he hasn’t gotten any better in the almost 20 years that he’s spent speaking into microphones. He’s got almost the same cadence as the handicapped black kid from “Malcolm in the Middle.”
Oh, and the episode also featured Shaq in a dance-off with Justin Bieber. I suppose we’ll be needing a GIF of that. I wonder who would be better at making teenage white girls scream.