There’s an easy way to gauge if you’re too old to be cool: watch the VMAs. If you find yourself saying, “Who is that person?” and “Why are they wearing that?” and “This show used to be better!” and “This is music is terrible!” then you are old and not cool. You’re also correct, but that’s another story.
Anyway, the VMAs don’t warrant paragraph form. You get bullets:
- Lady Gaga won eight awards, most of them for “Bad Romance.” It’s the biggest haul since Peter Gabriel won nine for “Sledgehammer” in 1987, and it ties the mark for second-most awards by the legendary a-ha. Oh, and she wore crazy crap. But you knew that already (inset image via).
- Chelsea Handler is not good at comedy.
- During last year’s VMAs, I joked that if you were only reading about the show on Twitter, you would have thought that Kanye West raped Taylor Swift onstage, such was the moral outrage. This year, if you listened to Swift debut her new song in which she forgives Kanye, you would think Kanye raped her onstage.
- Best New Artist: Duh, Justin Bieber. He played the drums. What a cute little lesbian.
- Kanye’s performance (video below) was pretty cool. Or not. I don’t know any more. But he sings about drinking to douchebags and assh*les, and MTV didn’t bleep assh*les, which I thought was nice. Kids may as well know that “assh*le” isn’t a big deal to say, unlike our ad partners.
Anyway, when I look back on this night, I’ll always think, “Wow, I can’t believe Alex Barron cost the Cowboys the game with that holding penalty.”
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/yeezus-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/06/kanye-kim-150x150.jpg)
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The VMAs are relevant? No, wait. The VMAs were on last night?
/thank you football
//NFL > VMA
I come here looking for lobster dogs and boobs, but NO, you HAVE to mention the Cowboys game. It’s hard enough living in DC with these Skins fans mouth raping me today.
For shame.
You also know you are old if you can remember when MTV used to actually play music videos.
There’s an easy way to gauge if you’re too old to be cool: not even realize the VMAs were on last night.
/still pretty cool for a 38 year old dad
Chelsea Handler made me laugh a total of -27 times.
To be fair, Barron didn’t really cost the Cowboys the game with that hold. He probably saved Romo’s life. He cost the game with his poor, pathetic blocking.
Oh no, the video of Kanye is deleted. I was going to listen to it while still hung-over.
I’m thinking the fumble before halftime cost the Cowboys the game.
A chick at my job was vehemently defending the comedy stylings of Chelsea Handler. I told her, “she bangs the President of the E! channel. She doesn’t have to be funny.”
Then I remembered that I was arguing with a dumb twat and left.
when Kanye started singing, it made me miss Gnarles Barkley. A LOT. There is no justice in this world.
Taylor Swift is truly a horrible singer. And I don’t find her attractive – so there, Taylor. Take THAT!
I didn’t watch this because I was too busy watching the Cowboys be terrible, but I did hear that Eminem knocked Vinny Chase the fuck out last night. THAT’S great hustle!
I was painting while my wife was watching the VMAs, and at one point, I thought someone was strangling a cat. But no, it was just some artist named “Paramore.”
Fun fact I just looked up on Wikipedia – the first VMAs were hosted by Dan Aykroyd and Bette Midler. They were considered “cool” at one point I guess.
Bring back Christian Slater to host!!!!
What channel number is MTV on DirecTV?
Watched part of it after Mad Men. Did anyone catch how many times the Situation tried to say “oh, that’s a situation right there!” like a cartoon catch phrase? He’s really trying to become everyone’s sitcom neighbor
Is it me, or were the VMA awards the WORST show broadcast live on TV? The host, guests, AND songs were NOT funny, the awards were given to a bunch of outer-space clowns, and this show just had no class! Maybe it was good, if you were under 20….But MTV SHOULD show the winning videos & quit glorifying wierdos….Oh wait…It’s one & the same!
Garbage.
Chelsea Handler made me laugh a total of -27 times. no wait , that was the Cowboys game
I didn’t watch the VMAs because I still have a soul. I did watch the video yall posted though and I just have to say once again AZIZ ANSARI IS NOT FUNNY! That is all. Thank you.
oh, excellent. a music video awards show by a channel that doesn’t play music videos. they must have great taste in music and videos