Tomorrow is September 2nd, 2010. Or 9/2/10. Or, if you like extraneous zeros, 9/02/10. And that collection of numbers is enough for people to stick their heads up their asses to get a good, deep whiff of ’90s nostalgia by celebrating “90210 Day.” (Wake me up when it’s 3/14/15. I love a good Pi Day!)
Foremost among the offenders is ESPN columnist Bill Simmons, who is taking a break from making references to Teen Wolf and Karate Kid in order to devote an entire podcast to “90210″ with fantasy sports “expert” and world-class pig Matthew Berry. Simmons tweeted:
Preparing for the 9-02-10 podcast with Berry. You know what’s shocking? None of David Silver’s horrendous music is online except “Precious.”
Ugh. I understand that tons of people out there love Simmons, but this really, really, really isn’t necessary. You know, just because you were in college when the show was on doesn’t make it interesting. The ’90s blew, and there’s nothing to say about “90210″ that hasn’t already been said. Let me save you an hour of your time: Gabrielle Carteris was way too old to be a high school student. Ian Ziering married a Playboy model. Luke Perry was in Buffy the Vampire Slayer with Paul Reubens. Tori Spelling is and always has been ugly. Color Me Badd sang at the Peach Pit. Ryan Seacrest played Ryan Seacrest before he was Ryan Seacrest. Blah blah blah, sideburns, Kelly got raped.
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“World-class pig Matthew Berry”?
I rarely read him. What’s he into that warranted the “world-class pig” honorific?
Dwarf tossing? Feline necrophilia? Writing “Two and a Half Men” fan fiction?
Please, go on about this Kelly rape.
The 90s blew? Surely you jest.
*puts on flannel shirt and beanie, cranks up tape player to blast “Two Princes”*
@Otto: I just talked to him once at a Super Bowl party. I’ve been called a misogynist and an asshole before, so it says something that I was appalled by the comments about women he made in the first five minutes after we met.
Don’t you just love hatred disguised as journalism? Whee!
(yes Sheldon, that is sarcasm)
What a waste of reading.
@Sha La La — Nothing here pretends to be journalism. It’s a blog with commentary. It’s my opinion disguised as nothing at all, so fuck off.
Can we get back on subject here? I believe we were discussing Joe E. Tata.
Yeah, that’s saying something, Uff.
On another note, I think you read Sepinwall, but in case you missed it:
[www.hitfix.com]
I really dislike Simmons. He used to be entertaining, but then all of a sudden just started writing shite.
I once emailed him when he slagged England off by calling all of us inbred and how he would rather die than visit. It was just me saying that Kentucky and Boston would object to that. He told me to go fuck myself, but hey. The column later deleted that part.
Apparently you need to use more animal photoshops Matt, to really drive the point home.
I apologize for getting off topic. Let’s focus on what’s important: Kelly getting raped.
I think it’s funny that Matthew Perry still looks smooth as fuck even when carrying a chick on his shoulders.
So speaking you guys being misogynist and rape, my friend was over the other night, and I was explaining to him after washing his towel, a red stain didn’t come out even with bleach
“You know that red stain, probably from wiping up the blood of the hooker you chained to your heater, it didn’t come out”
Looks at me in complete shock, “It is from a red pepper”
“Or that”
I blame you guys
Wait.. you are ALL getting off topic.
Tiffany-Amber Thiessen’s tits — discuss.
/yes I know she wasn’t an original cast member – who cares?!
When David Silver’s friend accidentally shot and killed himself by twirling a gun on his finger, I made a vow then and there: One day I would see Shannon Doherty’s tits.
HURRRR DURRRR HURRRR ‘Billy Zabka’ HURRR DURRR HURRR ‘Kobe 6 for 24′ HURRR DURRR HURRR ‘Vegas, Baby’ HURRR DURRR HURRR ‘Real World 38′ HURRR DURRR DURRR ‘Cousin Sal Farted On A Six Foot Sub This Weekend, Go Pats’ HURRRR DURRRR.
The above stolen whole cloth from Vince Mancini with no apologies whatsoever.
I, for one, would like to see if Jacqueline is hot.
Simmons has been making 90210 references for years.
Way to take criticism Matt. You can still be a critic without being so hateful. Or maybe you can’t.
You say you were appalled by Berry’s comments about women, but happily broadcast that Tori Spelling is “ugly” and how Kelly got raped…
You’ve told me to fuck off though, so you must be right. “Fuck off” really is the universal moronic response.
@Sha La La: You were WRONG. This site is not journalistic and makes no claims to be so. I corrected you, and I don’t need to be fucking polite about it.
This is MY workplace. I don’t come where you work and complain about the way you do your job, and if I did, you’d be welcome to tell me to fuck off.
I welcome any and all comments, but people who make incorrect claims about what I write will get my bluntest words, because they’re not worthy of something witty.
So again: fuck off.
This isn’t a workplace. It’s the internet. Exactly what coin do you expect to be paid peddling your wares on a website?
Social constructs like fairness and morality (which dictate what is allowed of conventional society) don’t rule the ideas of people on the web. If you think others shouldn’t complain about how you do your job “where” you work because you don’t do it to them, or thinking that if they do it follows logically that they deserve to be told “fuck off”, is weak logic and out of place at best. Do what you want or don’t. The internet has abolished justification and cause and effect.
Sha La La is Kelly in disguise.
Get her!
Do you think David Silver celebrates Pi day by eating Megan Fox’s pie?
for everyone celebrating 90210 day please check out this amazing song and video in tribute to Beverly Hills. Written and performed by California’s own rising pop sensation Roxy Darr
[www.youtube.com]