This image has absolutely nothing to do with any television show that’s on this weekend; I just like the idea of it being at the top of the page until Monday. That’s right: even though it’s Labor Day weekend, there will be new posts on Monday. So come by and look at them and click on stuff, or eventually people will stop blogging on holidays. You don’t want that to happen, do you?
Camp Rock 2 The Final Jam (Disney, Friday) — The Jonas Brothers and Demi Lovato make a final musical appeal to tweens before the Jonases enter complete obscurity and Lovato becomes a club-hopping starlet famous only for upskirt and nip slip photos snapped by paparazzi. Wait, did I just write “DEMI LOVATO NIP SLIP”? So I did.
The Soup (E!, Friday) — This is how I keep up with all the terrible crap I refuse to watch. It’s an invaluable show for a television blogger.
Tennis: U.S. Open (CBS) — Unfortunately, the heat wave in New York City finally broke, so your chances of seeing someone die on court aren’t very good. BONUS: See the video below for the greatest tennis promo ever made.
College Football (ESPNs, Saturday) — Plenty of games to watch, but the Tebow-obsessed media would like to tell you all about Miami (OH) versus Florida. What’s that? Tim Tebow is in the NFL now? Then the lead story is HOW WILL FLORIDA DO WITHOUT TIM TEBOW?
Jerseylicious (Style, Sunday) — Season premiere. It’s like “Jersey Shore” crossed with that show about hair-cutting on Bravo, minus the charm of “Jersey Shore” and the name recognition of Bravo.
Leverage (TNT, Sunday) — Season finale. Has anyone ever seen an episode of this? What’s it like?
Rubicon (AMC, Sunday) — I’m pretty sure that this will be the last episode of “Rubicon” that I watch. God knows I tried with this show. I mean, I like shows that aren’t rushed, that take their time to develop stories and characters. But “Rubicon” makes “Treme” look like Crank.