David Duchovny, why don't you love me?
It was the worst sketch, I ever seen

Corgi Friday Bonus: CORGIWATCH

Written by Danger Guerrero / 10.15.10

DG here with BONUS TV-RELATED Corgi Friday.

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND WATCH THIS VIDEO. It is my masterpiece. I know I know, I say that every time I make a video, but trust me on this one. I’ve taken clips from the myriad of water-related corgi videos featured on Corgi Friday, and cut them into the theme from “Baywatch.”   We’ve got Corgi Flop, Corgi Flop 2, and my own Epic Corgi video from a few weeks back, all mixed in with the 90s greatest collection of flotation devices and man meat. I couldn’t be more proud of myself. Seriously, someone give me a sticker.

In closing, three things:

1) The scientists who invented the Internet as a tool to connect the masses — while vastly improving global communication and efficiency — must be so disappointed with what it’s become: a conduit for porn and dog videos. (Note: Not always mutually exclusive.)  Whatever.  SUCK IT, NERDS. (*finds nearest person wearing glasses, stuffs them in locker*)

2) If I spent anywhere near the amount of time I spend making these videos on, like, studying and stuff, I might actually get a job as a lawyer and not end up paying off my loans by giving handjobs next to the freeway.  (Which is presently how I pay for cable.  You can see my dilemma).

3) These dog videos better start getting me laid soon.

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12 comments
Danger Guerrero posted

"Corgi Friday Bonus: CORGIWATCH"

  1. 10.15.10 at 2:34 pm
    AEVC again

    Good stuff. *pats DG on head* I’d give you a bone to chew on but I left mine at home.

  2. 10.15.10 at 2:39 pm
    John Doe

    Mallory Bustington made me laugh out loud, a rare occurrence at my work desk.

  3. 10.15.10 at 2:44 pm
    Captain_Insano

    Sir Lawrence was totally sucking in his gut. And his tan is fake.

  4. 10.15.10 at 2:45 pm
    Mel Got Served

    I was upset that Michael “Newmie” Newman, the real-life lifeguard wasn’t included. Then I watched that corgi leap off the ledge in slo-mo and imagined someone yelling “Over by the jetty!” and all was forgiven.

  5. 10.15.10 at 3:01 pm
    Enrico Pallazzo

    I’m still hoping that one of these weeks you give us a “Borgi Friday” with nothing but Ernest Borgnine tributes.

  6. 10.15.10 at 3:11 pm
    Danger Guerrero

    For the record, anytime I’m not around in the comments all day, just assume I’m doing this. It’s much better for my image than you all thinking of me in class actually learning and contributing on point legal analyis.

  7. 10.15.10 at 3:18 pm
    MC Hammer

    That was a thing of beauty. A much worthier use of your time than reading Hadley v. Baxendale.

  8. 10.15.10 at 3:24 pm
    Danger Guerrero

    Yeah, but Hadley v. Baxendale does repeatedly feature the phrase “crank shaft,” which has never once not made me laugh.

  9. 10.15.10 at 3:59 pm
    Brian

    I got that job as a lawyer, it makes giving the handjobs to pay off the loans that much sadder

  10. 10.15.10 at 4:00 pm
    mfillmore

    DG, i thank you and your sticky fingers.

  11. 10.15.10 at 4:20 pm
    Smegga

    Just fantastic. I loved the Baywatch opening credits as a kid and the use of corgis is inspired.

    However, you are also a lawyer so you may be using your charms to take over the world, so you make me nervous Danger.

  12. 10.15.10 at 5:11 pm
    LaFavre

    Forget the law case classes, just make sure you take the lying, cheating and losing your humanity classes.

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