UPDATE: US Weekly retracted the story below, which is too bad because it seemed so believable.
Amber Portwood, the classy young star of “Teen Mom” shown choking and slapping the fat father of her child in this video, has moved on to a new man: a convicted child molester!
While dining at Three Pigs Restaurant & Lounge in Anderson, Indiana (as seen on the October 5 episode of Teen Mom), Portwood asked [Chris] Hossman what he did before they met.
“Well, I got into trouble and I got caught and they put me on work-release,” he explained vaguely. “It’s like a jail where you get to go out and work and you have to go back.”
He then shifted the conversation back to when he first met Portwood. [Us]
Savvy move, Chris. Women are naturally inquisitive, and the only things that can misdirect them are compliments and shiny objects.
Her: “So, have you ever been in trouble with the law?”
Him: “Well, I was convicted of — Oh my God! I just noticed how beautiful your eyes are.”
Her: “Awww, you’re sweet!”
Him: “…and anyway that kid is practically legal now anyway.”
Her: “Wait, what?”
Him: “Are those diamonds?”
I want more like this!
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