Canadian ‘Jersey Shore’ Looks Awful

When Canadians aren’t being adorable pushovers, they’ll occasionally grow a spine and brag about how their “cultural mosaic” is more meaningful or vibrant than the American “melting pot.” That’s the basic premise behind “Lake Shore”: in lieu of “Jersey Shore’s” portrayal of one horrible ethnic stereotype, the Canadian reality show features eight young people of different national backgrounds who come together to make a cultural mosaic of horrible ethnic stereotypes.

Some fun quotes from the eight-and-a-half-minute horror show above:

The Albanian: You can be gay as long as you don’t get anywhere near me. It doesn’t offend me. You do whatever you want. You like it in the ass? Take it in the ass, brother!

The Pole: “I’m not racist. I hate everybody equally. Especially the Jewish people.”

I’d wager that “The Pole” — real name: Karolina — is only half Polish. I’m guessing she got her hatred of Jews from a German father, and her definition of “equally” from her mother’s side. [CORRECTION: The Turk, not the Pole, is the anti-Semitic one. There go all my jokes.]

In case you don’t have the time or inclination to watch the video above, don’t worry, I’ve got all the best high-resolution screen caps below.

Beautiful AND anti-Semitic? SWOON!

...and only the lame wax their chests.

Perhaps I should watch the show after all.