Steevil & Carlsbad Cuttin’ A Rug

This video, from TGIF staple “Family Matters,” features two evil puppets dancing to a 90s hip hop beat. Ladies and gentleman, this is what we call entertainment. Furthermore, in one of the most awe-inspiring bits of creativity since my four year old cousin named her fish “Fishy,” the evil/bad puppets (modeled after Steve and Carl) are named Steevil and Carlsbad. This would be cute and non-infuriating if the writers who created it had not received a hefty salary and WGA benefits. But I digress.  (“Digress” means “cry into a discount tear bucket,” right?  *sigh*  One day, when my number comes in, I’ll be able to afford a real tear bucket.)

Anyway, this hilariously contrived supernatural plotline in the otherwise grounded family sitcom reminded me of another hilariously contrived plotline in this otherwise grounded sitcom. When Steve Urkel concocted a chemical compound called Boss Sauce and transformed into super cool Stefan Urquelle:

I’m not the only one who wants to buy a white suit and start wooing every woman within earshot, right? Hold on to your panties ladies. Unless of course…

(*does super cool move where I brush my thumb against my bottom lip*) (*raises eyebrows*) (* nods head slightly, lowers voice two octaves*)

… you aren’t wearing any.

(*all ladies within earshot swoon, catch the vapors, and faint*)

(*in defiance of physics, I catch every single one of them in my strong arms without wrinkling my expensive European suit*)

One final note: Steve’s girlfriend Myra was a straight up fox.