‘Jersey Shore’ Season 3 Trailer

GTL: Gym, Tanning, LaunBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

MTV released the extended trailer for Season 3 of “Jersey Shore,” and people, IT. HAS. EVERYTHING. A sampling:

• Arguing
• Snooki falling down in the sand
• Ronnie apparently getting a colonoscopy
• The grenade whistle (pictured above)
• Girls punching girls, girls punching boys
• Minibikes

All that said, my favorite part of this clip is new cast member Deena, a tiny little fake-Snooki wannabe-meatball. In the two-minute trailer, we find out two important facts about this treasure: 1) She got butt-naked in front of The Situation on the first day, and; 2) She has the greatest arguing strategy this side of an Ivy League debate team. Seriously, the next time I’m in an argument, I’m just yelling, “First of all! Second of all! BITCH!” over and over.  It’s genius.

P.S. Remember when you weren’t allowed to fight on MTV’s reality shows?  Like the time on “Real World: Seattle” when Stephen slapped Irene and people lost their damn minds?  Or the time on “Real World: Las Vegas” when sexy firecracker go-go dancer Brynn threw a fork at Steven and everyone treated it like the Pearl Harbor of cutlery attacks?  Oh, the 90s.  The infancy of reality TV, when we were actually concerned about the safety of the contestants.  How quaint.  Now MTV gleefully cuts together a trailer of self-described “guidos” beating each other about the head for two minutes with no repercussions.

We’re seriously like six months from a show called “Stripper Knife Fight House.”  I, for one, can’t wait.