Score another one for local news: this report from CBS affiliate WREG-3 details how Memphis’s Westside Middle School 
has implemented the “Urkel Initiative,” in which students who wear their pants too low are punished by getting their pants hiked up to their navels and zip-tied in place. “About durn time,” said your racist grandpa.
Anyway, I try my best to understand that kids are inclined to like stupid fashion trends — after all, I survived an era that indulged in the tight French-roll cuff on jeans, as well as the short-lived Kris Kross backward-clothes trend — but I just can’t wrap my head around why it’s cool to not have your pants all the way on. Damn kids! GET OFF MY LAWN!
[BuzzFeed]
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Oh go fuck yourself.
/makes hand print on Hypercolor t-shirt
//ties zubaz pants
When I’m a principal, my school will have the Stefan Urquelle initiative. It will be mostly the same, except instead of punishing kids for how they dress, I’ll wear a white suit everyday, listen to smooth 90s R&B, and be cool as shit.
If that principal was really old school, he’d make those kids wear MC Hammer pants as punishment.
/2Legit2Quit
This obviously isn’t a Catholic school.
If a student is caught with a cell phone in class, their cell phone is taken away and they are given a Zack Morris brick phone as a substitute for the day.
Actually, that sounds amazing.
My “Myra Monkhouse” initiative didn’t go over as well.
I’m, uh, available for hire if anyone’s looking.
The girl’s dresses are up on Thursdays…..?
Shouldn’t they do that on Wednesdays…..because Wednesday is “hump” day?
..before the school system tried the “Urkel Initiative”…..they tried the “call their fathers initiative”….
…that did not work out to well….
And the pants sag every Friday night—like Urkel!
Our basketball coach used to say, “you know how ‘sagging’ started? It was how inmates showed they’re gay. You gay?”
LOL, this is 2010, you go on the job interview, you’re not going to be hired at all, period.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!