From time to time, it’s good to get a different opinion on television. Here’s Josh Kurp, a freelance writer whose work has appeared on Nerve and Splitsider.
Sunday marked the season five finale of “Dexter,” and while it hasn’t been as consistent as the Trinity arc last year, it’s been a relatively strong season—except for one character, one character so bad that she has inspired a list of the worst characters on the best shows. These are the people who ruin otherwise great television, the ones that you immediately make you want to kill yourself when you see them on screen.
These rankings are first based off how great the show is, then ordered by how crappy the character is. And, with all due respect to Alex Krycek (“The X-Files”), Janice Soprano (“The Sopranos”), Tara Maclay (“Buffy the Vampire Slayer”), and Ziggy Sobotka (“The Wire”), we’re only including shows that are still on the air. But don’t worry, those four are all as equally awful as the choices below, if not more so in the case of Ziggy. F*ckin’ Ziggy.
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This list is fantastic EXCEPT Buddy Garrity. He is awesome for me at least. How Becky from FNL missed this list is amazing- her acting is horrible and the character was even more annoying than Riggins’ random neighbor kid from season 1. I haven’t seen S5 yet but GD, she could’ve ruined S4 for me.
Agree with Angela, especially since she cut her hair off to spite Jimmy. I would add Manny from “Modern Family”, the kid annoys the shit out of me.
Request – can we stop the “split a short article into 6 pieces to boost page views”?
Merle Dixon cut off his own hand with a hacksaw, not a chainsaw, BTW.
I would add Tara from Sons of Anarchy and Skyler from Breaking Bad. I like both actresses and they’ve been given time to shine, but the characters are so generally annoying/unlikable that they take away from their storyline purposes.
If “The Office” was still a great show, Pam and Jim would have to be on this list.
Skyler from “Breaking Bad” was terrible until she finally came around near the end of Season 3.
@Fucking Motherfucker: I’m sorry, but it has to be done. I try to minimize it where I can, but daddy’s gotta eat.
Debra Morgan is an awful character and Jennifer Carpenter is a TERRIBLE actress. Kill Deb and bring back Rita’s tits.
And fuck you, Peter King, because Andy Bernard is worthless.
Ann Perkins is good and essential to Parks and Rec for Leslie Knope to work off of. I couldn’t agree more with Janice Soprano, she just was grosser than gross, you just look at her and know she smells bad. Angela Dormady, I wish Jimmy kicked her to the curb and raised the kid with his awesome mom. Skyler White, annoying cheating whore that should go!…Ziggy, damn, just a pathetic character, I just feel sorry for the dude.
To me, the worst is and always will be Ana Lucia. God, she sucked. She wasn’t even interesting in a love-to-hate way.
Oh, and Krychek did suck. And yet he has a fanbase. Go figure.
Your mom is worthless.
The weird thing about Ziggy sucking it up on the Wire is that actor played the best character in Generation Kill.
Kevin from The Office.
What? No Poochie?
Anybody remember LaGuerta coming on to Dexter in the pilot?
And Tara is awesome because I really want to bang her. Otherwise she’s a hate-filled bitch. …so I really want to bang her. It’s an endless loop. Hate-fucking a hot minority was pretty much the best aspect of slavery.
I’m white.
Agreed with the list but the Merle submission is a little premature considering (1) Walking Dead isn’t a great show YET and (2) all the other nominees have been given multiple episodes to piss off viewers while Merle’s one lone episode, though dreadful, was not something that moved race relations on television back 20 years. It was just terrible writing.
Vince – you shut your mouth about Kevin. he’s a saint.
Wait, people actually LIKE Jennifer Carpenter and her portrayal of Deb? God, I wish every episode that the Ice Truck Killer had murdered her.
This list is terrible. Sue, though ridiculous, is the only remotely entertaining character on GLEE. You nailed Maria from DEXTER, Sonny from TREME, and Tara from TRUE BLOOD, but most of these are off base, and not even the worst characters on their respective shows.
I wish they had a plot where Ziggy escaped prison and ended up in one of the high-rises right when they demolished it.
@ fucking motherfucker: It’s proven productive in the past to email Uproxx directly and tell them how unhappy you are with Warming Glow.
i would have sex with Rashida Jones so your argument is invalid.
I might throw Sam Merlotte as a tie with Tara. The only thing worse than Sam Merlotte was bringing his entire family on too.
I don’t like Ann on Parks & Rec much either, but suggesting Andy is the funniest character on the show is fucking ridiculous. Behold, the essence of manhood:
[artsbeat.blogs.nytimes.com]
Honestly, I think the show should be almost entirely centered around Leslie, Tom and Ron. Everyone else on that show is dead weight.
Do you even watch Friday Night Lights? Buddy is a hilarious, flawed compelling character. Sue Sylvester? Sure she’s one note, but isn’t most of this show fairly one note? And you somehow think Ann from Parks and Rec made Andy less funny? You do realize that Ann is the straight man to Andy and Tom, right? If every character were being wacky all of the time it’d get pretty tiring.
Agreed on 30 Rock, though.
And Pepe Silvia, you’re an idiot. I forgive you, because I like your name and i assume you’re a woman.
@The Red Menace:
I would add Tara from Sons of Anarchy and Skyler from Breaking Bad.
Ditto on Skyler, but hasn’t Tara offed more people than Jax? That’s got to account for something.
Tara is fantastic. She’s gorgeous, smart and a killer. The Holy Trinity.
Jennifer Carpenter was awful at the start of Dexter, just a swearing idiot. However, as the show has gone on she has gotten better and better. She’s brilliant in that role now.
I love Breaking Bad but I cannot stand Skyler. She may have redeemed herself a bit last season but I can’t watch her scenes from seasons one and two.
Does Mike Greenberg count?
I only watch 4 out of the 10 shows listed here on a regular basis, so most of them I can’t comment about (although, when I did watch Tru Blood before it turned into HBO’s biggest clusterfuck, I loved Tara. Just upset she never showed those boobs). As for #9, I don’t understand how you can feel any character doesn’t belong on that show. I adore Ann on Parks and Rec, so aside from cockblocking, I don’t see the problem with her. Merle on the Walking Dead we could have done without. In fact I’m glad he vanished, because I’m sure him and his brother were exactly the same, and I hated the brother. As for LaGuerta on Dexter, I completely agree. She should have gone out in season one, and they should have left Doakes as a cyborg or whatever the hell he was in the books.
Yeah, I don’t watch Glee religiously, I just casually pay attention when I’m in the same room with my wife watching it, but the only reason that I would watch would be for Sue. Fantasticly absurd character in a show that has an absurd premise to begin with (cheerleaders and jocks in the Glee Club? PREPOSTEROUS!)
Also, if we’re nominating characters from LOST, Ana Lucia is far down the pile for me. Kate was a huge pile of suck until the series finale. THERE I SAID IT. Charlie in Season 2 was kinda superfluous, but he was awesome in seasons 1 and 3, so that’s excused. Also, that stupid guest star spot from Bai Ling was awful. Awful. TERRIBLE.
/kinda liked Ana Lucia
//shows self out
I hated Claire until she hoarded a squirrel carcass and called it her baby.
That was great, and I agree, she was kinda unbearable after she started hating Charlie for things that weren’t his fault. After Charlie died, I liked her a lot more.
The Tonight Show would be better without Jay Leno.
Skyler is the most annoying character in TV history, and she is the only reason I don’t love Breaking Bad as much as everyone else. She has no redeeming character qualities about her besides the fact that she tries to be a good mom. But she’s always failing at it and she does nothing but bitch and moan and cry about everything. Why the fuck would a smart guy like Walter fall for this harpie who is absolutely humorless? So its a shame that she isn’t on this otherwise pretty good list.
Oh and the worst character on LOST is still a tie between Ana Lucia and Michael “They Took My Son!!!” Dawson.
If the criteria is “how the show would be affected if the character didn’t exist” I don’t see how Buddy from FNL makes this list. If it is, “caricatures we hate” then for sure. He represents the absurdly over the top obsession with football almost all by himself!
Missing from the list:
- Half the cast of Lost
- Luke from Modern Family
- Pierce from Community
- The entire cast of Two and a Half Men
- Salvatore from Mad Men
For what it’s worth, I think Kate was the worst main character on Lost, but due to self-imposed restrictions (damn me!), couldn’t include her.
I pretty much disagree with every single comment on this thread.
The American boss guy on “Outsourced”……
…the whole show would be changed if the India boss guy was running the slaves into the Ganges trying to figure out Pop Culture….
Rosie O’Donnell from the View (see what I did there?)
The Flat-Chested walk-on from “Busty Cops III…The ATM Edition”
@Observerwwtdd – This is about the worst characters on the best TV shows, not any old shite on TV as they all suck.
Skyler steps on a couple of nerves at times–who doesn’t, really?–but she’s far from the worst character ever on a television show. Especially when you switch to CBS accidentally and see ‘Two and a Half Men’ staring you in the face.
And hey! I like Tara (from ‘Buffy,’ not that other shit). I think the most annoying thing I can say about her is her stutter, which she probably wasn’t able to control without therapy or something, so I can forgive it.
I can’t agree more about Kenneth and Sue Sylvester. One-note characters are funny in the beginning. Then their shtick induces groans.
@ Christian
I would rather watch Luke go full retard than watch Manny be a freaky man boy 99 times out of 100.
@ Christian: Damn, you’re so wrong about LUKE AND SALVATORE! Bring back Sal!
PS this must be the most debated/viewed thread on this website EVAR!
I’d like to nominate every character on Bones for this list.
Lance Henrikson (Bishop in the alien movies) has been killed by all three also:
[www.poeghostal.com]
I fully agree with Tara. In season 1 she was a flawed, but pretty strong character. She would take shit from anyone. As soon as season 2 started, she became a pathetic, whiny, dumbass.
Yeah, I’d consider Deb Morgan worse than Maria too, if only because every single guy on DEXTER treats Deb like she’s the hottest piece on the planet, which forces me to suspend my disbelief in a way that even The Walking Dead does not require.
I have a feeling that Parks and Recs is going to over do it with the addition of Rob Lowe and Adam Scott. Tom Haverford And Ron Swanson should not in anyway have screen time taken away from them.
Sorry all, but Annie’s head is going to end up in a pot.
Everyone in NO saw that coming from a mile away. Treme could have portrayed them as typical quarter rats, but they took too much care to build them up as outsiders with a past, escaping into post-K new orleans. Annie’s character is too sympathetic, talent and potential for a bright future combined with a soft spot for the troubled bad boy.
If I was a Treme writer, I’d have Sonny cook up Annie, then get a lighter prison sentence than one of the show’s black characters. (Not only to make a point- it’d be realistic, too.)
To half the commenters: this is a list of bad characters in GOOD shows. So stop talking about 2 1/2 Men, cause it doesn’t fucking fit.
Completely wrong about Jack McBrayer from 30 Rock. Anyone who thinks that is all there is to the character of Kenneth is totally missing the point. He’s not just a silly, trying-to-be-simplistically-funny hillbilly. His character, like every character on the show, is a brilliant piece of satire on multiple levels. Jack McBrayer is fantastic; it just may take a bit of brain power to see that.
I agree with most of this list, but to say Dexter would be the same with everyone but Dex and Deb killed is completely wrone because of 1 overlooked walking sexual harassment suit. Yes, I’m talking about Masuka, if he was gone my soul would die just a little bit, but everyone else can go.
Charlie Sheen – 2 1/2 men didn’t make the list? That show is unbearable and he is the worst.
Don’t watch True Blood, but that Tara chick is HOT. Maybe some lesbianism with Angela from Boardwalk could redeem the both of them. Or just be awesome.
What’s with all the hate for Deb on Dexter? Why is she a horrible actress? What “good” actors are you using for comparison?
Umm… I would like to issue a formal protest since those bastards on Wikipedia keep deleting my changes — we have no evidence that Hudson actually died in Aliens. I’m pretty sure he survived the reactor meltdown by hiding in the Hive Mothers vag, whence unto the Sulaku. Take that, racist hillbillies.
I stopped watching Dexter after 3 episodes due to Deb. True story!
I don’t get the hate for Kenneth either. At least he’s given me a few laughs over the journey, unlike ANY of the writing team.
Pete? Fuck off.
Wacky-hat loser? Fuck you.
Twofer? Get FUCKED!
Fat guy? Go fuck yourself.
Not-Jimmy-Fallon? Go fuck the fat guy.
Possibly European female? I have nothing to say to you.
@Dave – I’m no pussy – I put my comments right here where Matt can see ‘em. I respect his right to run WG the way he sees fit.
If we have issues, he and I can go toe to toe like real men. Then he’ll beat the ever-living shit out of me, and we’ll shake hands, and I’ll pick up my teeth.
sorry rashida jones is the most beautiful person on television so go fuck yourself.
also buddy had some pretty great moments on FNL and in his weak moments had real pathos
Tara is terribly written for, and I’m not sure why out of all the characters she never shows any skin. LaGuerta is awful. Deb used to be much worse; she’s not so bad anymore.
I nominate Jimmy’s haircut for worst character on boardwalk. Not Jimmy, just his haircut. I thought his wife’s plotlines were interesting as it’s clear Jimmy will be taking on a bigger role in the show moving forward. They just have no chemistry though, which is kind of the point.
I’m not sure how you can differentiate between all the one-note characters on 30 Rock at this point. It’s Alec Baldwin, Banks, and just crap now.
@kaka, you mean you don’t like Jimmy looking like DiCaprio from Titanic?
@dontplaydead, I’ve always been a big fan of Deb. Her curses are hilarious, and I do think she’s a better actress than people give her credit for. Plus, now that she and Dexter broke up (IN REAL LIFE), she’s on the market.
Sue and Britney are the only reason I ever watch Glee. I have no expectations that Sue’s motivations or reasoning are consistent, or even make sense. No other characters’ do either. At least we know that she will be playing a jerk. Look at Will. He is an ass-hat almost every show, but he is one of the main “protagonists”. I Hate Will, and his stupid perm, as much as Sue does. Which makes me like her character all the more.
I have nothing against the actress who plays Sue on Glee; but she looks like Michael Douglas if he were a man.
I like Kate and Debra…so suck my purple mountain meat hamster you dime store hood.
And Tara (Buffy) was a lesbian…lesbians are never worthless.
P.S. Most useless character…Lana Lang from Smallville; thank god she’s off now.
P.P.S. Rat-shit, bat-shit, dirty old twat; sixty-nine assholes tied in a knot…hooray, lizard shit, FUCK!
wanda sykes need to get the hell off curb with that sexyass
I like Buddy Garrity! His storyline with the Mexican dropout kid he took in was one of my favorite that year, and I just saw the first episode with his annoying son, and it’s got me interested.
@FM – Matt’s proven he can do that even if a slimeball sneaks around the comment section…
Mark my words: Merle is coming back as “The Governor.”
LaGuerta… nooo!!! I care! I swear I have done nothing but defend her for so many seasons. I love her depth of character. I know it’s just your opinion, but I disagree so hard. Maybe it’s only because I’m coming from the “woman in a position of power constantly manipulated by male authority” angle. and I love the laguerta/angel story, btw
Seriously? How did Manny not make this list? I don’t watch Modern Family solely because he is the most annoying character on television. Also, Jack Mcbrayer and Jane Lynch don’t deserve to be on this list. He is funny and not very important. She is the only enjoyable character on a miserable TV show.
Could not agree more on Tara. I spent most of season 3 complaining about her character and how much I didn’t care about her. She is so annoying. Sam is another one I could really do with less of. In the first season they were okay, but now I just want both of them to disappear into the ether. I really dgaf about her storylines.
I’m torn on the Sue thing. I think is she was on a different show I’d agree with you, but she’s not. She’s on Glee. Within the context of that show, she works. And she’s one of the best parts because most of the other characters annoy me as much as they annoy her so I’m all for really stupid plots against them. I do think what they did with her in the Christmas episode was really bad writing, though. That episode in general was kind of lame. (On the otherhand, I know Gleeks who cried, so maybe I’m just not hardcore enough to get it.)
Kenneth, I don’t know. I don’t mind him, but I don’t really feel the need to rise up and defend his honour either. I do think he’s pretty important to the structure of the show. I’m not sure Tracey’s storylines would work if he wasn’t there, although I wouldn’t mind seeing Dot Com and Grizz given bigger rolls to play.
> What’s with all the hate for Deb on Dexter? Why is she a horrible actress? What “good” actors are you using for comparison?
Any actress. I mean, literally, any actress on television is better then the woman who plays Debra Morgan. And she’s so fucking ugly.
i disagree with Ann. She’s more of the grounded in real life character. Sure, she doesn’t have the quirks like the rest of the cast, but i still enjoy her presence. Plus she’s pretty attractive and easy on the eyes.
another one you can add is the grandmother from raising hope. No idea why she’s on it in the first place
Every week my wife and I watch “True Blood” and we ask how long they will keep Tara around. The character is horrible, with all of the lip quivering and crying. She would have been the easy No. 1 on my list.
KENNETH?!?!???!?!?!?!? REALLY?
Wow. Buddy Garrity has no place on this list.
Yes, Tara is boring, her stories have absolutely nothing to do with True Blood, but with a teen drama series. Is like seeing a series about vampires, then getting sucked to a soap opera, then coming back. But I still thinks her stories are less annoying than the American Pie-ness of Jason Stackhouse, for me the most annoying series character ever. Sue Sylvester IS a great character. Why can’t a character be unidimensional and cartoonist and be good?
Besides, the actresses of Tara and Letie Mae do an extremely good job, being two of the best actors/actresses in the True Blood series!
This list is automatically invalid for saying that Andy is the best character on Parks and Rec.