No Easy Decision (MTV) – MTV’s special on the difficult decision and consequences of abortion airs tonight at 11:30. I don’t want to touch an abortion debate with a thirty foot pole, but I will point out that Amber Portwood, star of MTV’s reality show “Teen Mom” was just arrested on felony charges of domestic battery and neglect of a dependent stemming from a physical altercation with her ex-fiancé. So…
Sunday Monday Tuesday Night Football (NBC) – The postponed game between the Eagles and the Vikings will be played tonight on NBC, provided they don’t cancew da game because of a wittle bit of snow fawwing on the fiewd. My unbiased prediction an an Eagles fan: Eagles by infinity. My second prediction: I continue to follow @zoowithroy on Twitter and love it.
Kennedy Center Honors (CBS) – The honorees include Paul McCartney and Oprah. Because if there’s one thing worldwide icon billionaire visionaries need, it’s prestigious accolades in primetime on America’s #1 network.
Cupcake Wars (Food Network) – Times have been tough for pastries on the battlefield. We lost a lot of good cakes out there.
Glory Daze (TBS) – TBS is promoting the hell out of this comedy centered around college students in the 1980s. I still don’t know why they shot down my suggested tagline, “It’s like American Pie, but with music that came out before its target demographic was born, and without nudity, swearing, or hilariously raunchy hijinx.”
Dirty Jobs (Discovery) – In between starring in every truck commercial on television, Mike Rowe travels to Palm Springs to pollinate date palm trees. Whoawhoawhoa, slow down palm trees. You barely know this guy! You’re just going to let him pollinate you right away?! On television?! You sluts.