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What’s on Tonight: Groupies!

Written by Matt Ufford / 12.15.10

Let’s Spend the Night Together: Confessions of Rock’s Greatest Groupies (VH1) — Part of VH1′s series of “Rock Docs,” this will be hosted by Pamela Des Barres, who hooked up with Jim Morrison, Mick Jagger, Jimmy Page, Keith Moon, Frank Zappa, and many more. She must’ve been, like, the Pele of anal.

Hell’s Kitchen (Fox) — Season 8 finale. The final battle to determine the best chef who couldn’t get cast on “Top Chef.” (Note: “Top Chef” is also on tonight. Watch that instead.)

Psych (USA) — One of the characters does that thing where he sees the world if he had never been born. Yeah, we get it: It’s a Wonderful Life is a good movie. No need to beat this well-worn holiday trope into the ground any more.

My Skin Is Killing Me (TLC) — Just a reminder: TLC still exists.

The Sing-Off (NBC) — Guhhh, this show is doing better and better in the ratings. This is why we can’t have nice things, America. While we’re on the subject of a capella singing, here’s Liberty University’s group performing a Christmas carol-ified version of “Bed Intruder” (below).

What’s more surprising: that there’s a mohawked lesbian at Jerry Falwell’s college, or that there’s a black dude? You think the black guy has to use a separate water fountain? Or is he there on scholarship as a full-time publicity photo model for the admissions department?

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11 comments
Matt Ufford posted

"What’s on Tonight: Groupies!"

  1. 12.15.10 at 5:12 pm
    UncreativeHandle

    No love for HBO’s 24/7 on Pens-Caps? I know, I know hoc-key? But HBO Sports could make the WNBA seem compelling.

  2. 12.15.10 at 5:23 pm
    Enrico Pallazzo

    My wife was watching The Sing Off last night while I was walking into the room. I figured it would just be a bunch of show choir homos but to my surprise there is a group made entirely of old black guys. It was a nice surprise. And Ben Folds should just kill himself already.

  3. 12.15.10 at 5:25 pm
    Mo Charlo

    There’s no such thing as a “Gratuitous” Archer quote. They’re all pertinent and timely.

  4. 12.15.10 at 5:28 pm
    Captain_Insano

    @UncreativeHandle:

    I was going to post the same thing. Not to point out its omission on this list (I’m guessing nobody in the US is aware it exists), but to bring it to peoples attention. Yay Heritage Classic New Years Day Pen vs Caps!!!!!!

  5. 12.15.10 at 6:14 pm
    Chip Kincaid

    Let’s get one thing straight: Pele was the Pele of anal. He tore up every single Afro-Brazilian butt from Florianopolis to Joao Pessoa.

  6. 12.15.10 at 6:32 pm
    Matt

    Oh, I saw the hockey thing. I chose to ignore it. However, as I’ve mentioned fucking time after time after time, this isn’t a list of the best or recommended programming tonight, just what I feel writing jokes about.

  7. 12.15.10 at 6:34 pm
    marik7772003

    Fuck! A TVTropes link!

    /clicks around for next six hours

  8. 12.15.10 at 6:36 pm
    Patty Boots

    I love how, even when VH1 is pretending to be about music, it’s still just being all tabloid scandalous.

  9. 12.15.10 at 7:36 pm
    Parker Jammstein

    False.

    Cristiano Ronaldo is the Pele of anal.

  10. 12.15.10 at 7:50 pm
    hckyfn15

    Note: Apparently the Washington Capital’s coach out cusses Rex Ryan. This alone makes me excited for 24/7 tonight. If he mentions snacks I’ll have a humor aneurysm.

  11. 12.16.10 at 12:40 pm
    MannyBeingManny

    If you’re going to have sex with Pamela, you better call Kenny Loggins, cuz you’re in the Danger Zone. (That would be her vagina.)

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