I’ll see your Sherlock Holmes bare-knuckle boxing and raise you Edgar Allan Poe as a crime-fighting detective:
ABC has ordered a crime drama where Edger Allen Poe solves mysteries.
I know. It sounds like some kind of dream within a dream. But here’s the official description for Poe: “Crime procedural following Edgar Allan Poe as the world’s very first detective, using unconventional methods to investigate dark mysteries in 1840s Boston.” [Inside TV]
Um, I hate to split hairs when we’re already making gigantic leaps through B.S. to get “depressed alcoholic author solves crimes,” but I think detectives existed before the 1840s. (Update: a commenter confirms this.)
Anyway, if you’re anything like me, you’re thinking, “Hey, wait. Wasn’t Poe from Baltimore?” But no. He was born in Boston and raised in Virginia, and although he was married (to his 13-year-old cousin) and died in Baltimore, he did spend a fair amount of his old life in Beantown. DO NAWT DISRESPECT A MEMBAH OF RED SAWX NATION!