As CBS and “American Idol” have proven, great ratings don’t equate to intelligent programming. But this isn’t a new phenomenon: terrible shows have been hits throughout TV history, especially before the rise of cable gave viewers more choices. Here are the ten worst abominations to crack a given year’s top-20 highest-rated shows.
#10. “Too Close for Comfort”
Oh my God, that title text. Look how wacky the word “close” looks. I bet it’s conveying that there are too many people living in that red house. It’s amazing that “too” wasn’t written as “2” and “for” as “4.” Prince should get on that. Here’s what I don’t understand: that house is actually a duplex, with mother and father living on one floor, and their two daughters on the other. That’s almost the opposite of too close; if anything, they’ve got too much room. Producers must have realized this when the changed the show’s name to “The Ted Knight Show” for its sixth and (shockingly) final season.
#9. “Good Morning, Miami”
I don’t remember the exact reason why, but a screener copy of “Good Morning, Miami” was sent to my home in late 2001, maybe early 2002. I was 13 years old at the time, and thought it was awesome to receive a VHS copy of a show that hadn’t been on the air yet. I got to control TV! A little card came with the pilot episode, asking my mom and I to send our thoughts about the show after watching it. Twenty-two painful minutes later (which evidently involved a nun, if the picture above is to be believed), we ejected the video from our VCR and literally stomped on it until the thing was in a thousand pieces (literally stomped, figuratively a thousand pieces). The show was that bad. That should have been their motto: “Good Morning, Miami: Boot Stompingly Bad!”
[Editor's note: I watched several episodes of this solely because the cast included the unstoppably adorable Ashley Williams and a hot Cuban chick. My tastes were formed pretty early.]
#8. “Mayberry R.F.D.”
Like “Frasier,” but with even fewer laughs! When “The Andy Griffith Show” ended in the spring of 1968, viewers were left without the charming tales of small-town folk, like that great episode where Opie gets a job in a grocery store, but gives it to another boy who needs it more. But in the fall, “Mayberry R.F.D.,” featuring nearly every character from “Andy Griffith” minus, um, Andy Griffith, aired, with plots involving the U.S. Department of Agriculture and Civic Youth Day. Not only was it a cheesier spin-off of a spin-off (“Andy” originated from “The Danny Thomas Show”), it was depressing; America was undergoing a cultural revolution in 1969, but millions were still at home, watching a show about the good ol’ days, where black people and long haired rock ‘n’ rollers didn’t exist.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/679/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/09/donaghy-god-150x150.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/08/alf-and-cat-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/08/Travis-mug-shot-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/08/presidents-650x366-150x150.jpg)
Question: was “Will and Grace” a NBC Thursday night comedy? When I first met my wife she watched that show and I thought it was fucking terrible. Maybe it should be added to this list.
I think Seineld is a fucking abomination. It’s about four asshole who meet the DSM criteria for sociopathy. Fuck that. If I wanted to see sociopaths be bastards to hapless people I would spend time with my family in public (that is not a joke.). Curb is just as bad. Lovable psychopath! Yay! *rips massive fart*
There was only one reason to ever watch Caroline in the City: they made the smoking-hot best friend (Amy Pietz, thanks IMDb) an ensemble dancer in Cats, so every once in a while you’d see her in her skin-tight costume or rehearsing her character by (swear to god) grooming herself with her tongue. That will make up for a lot of shitty writing.
You can read more of Martin’s TV criticism at http://www.nobodygivesafuckaboutyourshittytasteintelevision.com.
God help me, I remember watching Dave’s World. It was like the shitty forerunner to Everybody Loves Raymond.
And fucking hell, that NBC Thursday night list is murderous. “Just Shoot Me” is the best thing on there by far, and it was a steaming pile of crap (but at least it had Brian Posehn).
Is that Paula Dean in the picture of that Miami show?
Seinfeld is to comedy as rape is to women’s rights.
And I would have plowed ‘Dave’s’ wife.
@Martin: your attitude indicates pretty clearly that you’re incapable of enjoying It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and as such, I feel sorry for you.
That link is no good, Pepe.
No hate for “Mad About You”? Sure it had adorable dog Murray and that dude that does all of the voices for The Simpsons, but the creators of that show should all die slowly in a fire.
Ever see the William Conrad series “Cannon” or Buddy Ebsen’s “Barnaby Jones”? Hysterically bad hits.
Cannon featured a 400lb man as an action star. I kid you not. Every week someone would try to run away from him and this asteroid of a man would tackle him.
Barnaby Jones featured the same final sequence EVERY week. He’d confront the bad guy, the guy would pull a gun and shoot and miss him by a mile. Barnaby would then draw his gun and hit him on the first shot. Trivia: The only episode where it took him more than one shot was the episode where Barnaby had been blinded! He was f’n blind and it took him 2 shots! Bad guys had the worst aim.
It should be noted that the Exec Producer of Good Morning Miami was Max Mutchnick, who also produced Boston Common, Will & Grace, and now Shit My Dad Says. That’s a whooooooole lot of shitty TV, Maxie.
The banner pic reminds me of the three criminals sentenced to the Phantom Zone at the start of Superman: The Movie.
I my opinion might be skewed by living overseas at the time and being pretty much willing to watch any American TV I could find but I remember Caroline in the City being watchable and actually enjoying Just Shoot Me (which I believe held its own for a couple years on tuesday night).
…leaving viewers to wonder what was really in Veronica’s closet.
Being that this show starred Kirstie Allie and Kathy Najimi, my money is on “smoked meats and pastries”.
@SP, and strap on dildos.
@njpanick, Boston Common was terrible but it had that cute blond chick that was in Dirty Work with Norm MacDonald.
/glad to see you slumming it here now that WoW has closed shop.
That link is no good, Pepe.
I know. It’s almost like he made up the link just to mock Martin.
You forgot Two and a Half Men. You’re dead to me.
I just want to say I liked Boston Common, The Single Guy, and Just Shoot Me. I don’t know why. Also, Good Morning Miami introduced me to Constance Zimmer.
I still watch Just Shoot Me in syndication whenever I’m home from work. David Spade gets shit on by everyone, but he makes me laugh.
I second whoever it was that said they’d bang Dave’s World’s wife. She was the reason I watched.
Oh, and Shadoe Stevens.
Rewatch “Caroline in the City,” but focus on Lea Thompson’s ass the whole time. It’s a whole different, and much better, show.
‘Alf’ is ‘The Wire’ of sitcoms from my youth. I hope you burn alive.
I still credit Dave Barry’s movie “Big Trouble” for bringing Sofia Vergara into my life. So…there’s that.
…any show with Johnathan Silverman…
I want to use the case of “Seinfeld” to murder the cast of “Friends.” Then I will murder the cast of “Seinfeld.”
Holy crap, I thought I was the only 13 year old that wanted to snog the crap out of Caroline in the City’s slutty friend, and Dave Barry’s pretend wife.
““Madman of the People,” “The Single Guy,” “Caroline in the City,” “Suddenly Susan,” “Union Square,” “Veronica’s Closet,” “Jesse,” “Stark Raving Mad,” “Just Shoot Me,” and “Inside Schwartz,””
Wasn’t this list of shows, at one time, all that the USA Network showed all day?
How “ALF” fits into the list of shit I have never heard of before I have no idea.
The girl you guys wanted to make sweet love to on Caroline in the City is still acting. She played the bartender that Michael hooks up with (who is already married) on The Office. She was on for like five episodes and she’s still beautiful.
anyone who hates on Seinfeld i feel sorry for.. but more importantly, by including Community and Parks & Rec as “some of the greatest comedies of all time” is utterly appalling and makes this entire post as well as this site a joke
No one gives a fuck what you think roscoe.
Really, “the greatest [Thursday night] comedies of all time” and you include Community and Parks & Rec? Sure they can occasionally make you laugh, but aren’t you familiar with things like Cheers, Frasier, Night Court, or Wings. Hell, I’d rather sit through 12 hours of early Cosby Show episodes rather than watch 2 back to back eps of Parks & Rec.
Community and Parks & Rec aren’t two of the greatest shows of all time. They’re second tier NBC comedies, overshadowed by 30 Rock and The Office (at least, The Office Seasons 2-5). Now Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, there was an NBC comedy classic.
I still have Herman’s Head nightmares. I don’t want to talk about it.
It’s a fucking tv blog comment section. Nobody’s opinion matters. But I put up with enough assholes and idiots without feeling compelled to watch them when I am surfing channels. So no I have no desire to watch Sunny anymore than Seinfeld, TLC, or cable news.
Where the fuck is “Two Guys, A Girl, and a Pizza Place?”
Also “Home Improvement”. If I’m not mistaken, that Dan Akryoid show where he plays a preacher who rides motorcycles was popular at one point, too.
Wait, Two Guys and A girl just barely missed the cutoff. Continue.
@Martin, RE: DSM IV…
you’re doing it wrong.
Wait, there are actually people on here ripping on Seinfeld and they expect us to take their tase in comedy seriously?
People who mention Frasier as something worth watching deserve to die in a fire.
Just Shoot Me is a great show.
Big Trouble = underrated movie.
Vis-a-vis Welby, at that time (1970) Homosexuality was listed as a mental illness by the APA.
I never found Seinfeld all that funny. “Master of your domain ” = sure, but for the most part, people I wouldn’t piss on if they were on fire.
I still think two and half men is a horrible piece of shit. Charlie Sheen is a horrible actor.
Too close for comfort was an amazing show.
I would sit thru numerous “Just Shoot Me”s to catch one with Brian Poeshn or David Cross pretending to be a retard because he was too lazy to find a job or move out.
“Just Shoot Me” was alright, if only to see Wendy Malik in the role of a hot cougar slut.
would sit thru numerous “Just Shoot Me”s to catch one with Brian Poeshn or David Cross pretending to be a retard because he was too lazy to find a job or move out.
“Chicken pot, chicken pot PIIIIIIIEEEE!” That was the only thing my mom and I had in common, besides the drug problem….and hobo humping
Two Guys, a Girl, & a Pizza Place was on ABC – that was a pretty good show.
Stark Raving Mad was pretty good. Tony Shalhoub & NPH rocked in that!
You were 13 in 2002?
Jesus Christ I feel old.
What do all college Freshman get their own blogs now or something?
Anything with Ted Knight can’t make a top 10 worst list, seriously.
Alf was funny.
Good grief!There’s a reason tv sux!I smashed my trinitron in’93 and never looked back!
I actually watched Caroline in the City strictly for Leah Thompson. Then again I watched Howard the Duck strictly for Leah Thompson. So yeah.
Just Shoot Me was great, for two reasons: Laura San Giacomo.
Don’t believe me?
[www.youtube.com]
@Poopsmith: Congratulations. You and I are now best friends.
Damn, and I liked Dave’s World, unless we had a new Sega Genesis game to play.
Ah, yes. NBC Thursday Night Comedies, the Mike Shanahan of timeslots.
Dharma and Greg?
— equated homosexuality with pedophilia.
Thats wrong.
You should equate pedophilia with homosexuality, not the other way around.
You touch a little girl, youre a straight pedo pervert.
You touch a little boy, youre a homosexual pedo pervert.
You try to put your dick in some male’s orifice, no matter the age… youre still gay. You might not suck the cock but you are gay.
@ned… I have no idea why you are talking about what you are talking about, having just skimmed this article to see what shows were picked, and also having not read all the comments, but I feel VERY safe in saying that you, ned, are a totally blithering idiot.
Also no list of most popular bad TV shows is complete without all the CSI shows. Those are the most lame, formulaic, poorly written pieces of garbage ever to grace the television screen. I’d choose to watch ten episodes of most of the shows on this list before I’d force myself to watch one episode of any CSI show.
Oh and I don’t know if “7th Heaven” was ever a top 20 show, but it was very popular and on for a long time, and if it actually was ever in the top 20 then you committed a crime against humanity by not including it on this list
“People who mention Frasier as something worth watching deserve to die in a fire.”
People who actually wish other people to die in a fire due to their taste in TV shows are the ONLY ones who truly DESERVE to die in a fire.
A BIG one. Lotsa flames and no hope of escape.
Seriously.
ALF and SEINFELD were “in/out” shows. You are either in on the joke or not, regardless of how good the writing. You didn’t mention SCORCH (loved actors/hated show a la GOOD MORNING, MIAMI), the ALF wannabe. Also MIA Laverne and Shirley, Three’s Company, Scooby Doo (a thousand episodes from just ONE script), Family Guy, 60 Minutes, Dateline NBC, or a zillion other really bad shows, while praising lightweights like Parks and Wreck (jus’ kiddin’) or the very nervous humor of THE OFFICE (it’s like a 22 minute anxiety attack, US or UK).
So many bad shows, so little space. I know it’s hard to limit it to only ten. BUT… two words for the worst popular show of all time, hand’s down: MAMA’S FAMILY.