FISH: for sport only, not for meat. Fish meat is practically a vegetable.
I generally try to avoid delving into individual jokes on specific shows, but this must be shared and distributed to the widest audience possible: the Swanson Pyramid of Greatness (larger version here), featured on last night’s Season 3 premiere of “Parks and Recreation.” It appeared in the episode when Ron Swanson (Nick Offerman) imparted his knowledge to the youth basketball team he was assigned to coach. And that’s when we got gems of knowledge like:
CAPITALISM: God’s way of determining who is smart and who is poor.
CRYING: Acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon.
HAIRCUTS: There are three acceptable haircuts. High and Tight, crew cut, buzz cut. (*points to child*) Are the scissors broken in your house, son?
It’s basically a crib sheet on how to be a real man: meat, wood, bluntness, and facial hair. Go ahead and make it your desktop wallpaper.
From the episode “Go Big or Go Home.” Full episode on Hulu; watch the specific scene here.
UPDATE: Here’s an extended scene of Ron Swanson talking about the Pyramid, with several lines that were cut from the final episode. Giggety.
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I hate being old. I can’t read it for shit.
Teamwork and Selfishness, together at last.
Finally. Ron Swanson is getting the credit he deserves for his greatness. Also, he is my moral compass.
I decided after the capitalism line last night that I would live my life by this pyramid. So glad I didn’t have to wait any longer to see the full version and learn this:
Shorts over 6″ are Capri pants. Shorts under 6″ are European.
The red sweater he wore last night and the chair throw ala Bobby Knight was awesome. Swanson is easily the best character on t.v.
Not another goddamn show I have to catch up on.
This just might be on par with the d.e.n.n.i.s system
“BO- cultivating a manly musk puts your opponents on notice.”
Priceless
Buffets: Whenever available choose quantity over quality.
“That’s my number one favorite food wrapped around my number three favorite food. I’d go to a banquet in honor of those Somali pirates if they served bacon-wrapped shrimp.”
Does anyone else think that Nick Offerman looks like he is zach galifianakis’ dad.
“Give 100%. Giving 110% is impossible. Only idiots recommend that.”
And yes, it was installed as my wallpaper immediately.
Should also be noted that it is a parody of John Wooden’s success pyramid.
America and Buffets on the same line…very fitting.
such a good episode, so happy its back. that pyramid the world’s guide to being as manly as possible.
America, I can read all of it up until “cultures,” little help please. And, yes, Ron is the true arbiter of all that is good and right in the world. Simply a bad-ass, but don’t know why he doesn’t have a spot reserved for breakfast and brunettes.
‘AMERICA: The only country that matters. If you want to experience other “cultures”, use an atlas or a ham radio.’
I like this character better when he was Kenny Powers.
Masonary: Building walls makes you strong. Defending them makes you even stronger.
My new mantra in life is WWSD…What would Swanson Do?
“If you want to experience other cultures, use an Atlas or a Ham radio”.
I can’t read the Cursing one. A little help here please.
it’s helpful how this isn’t linked to higher resolution image.
thanks for that
“CURSING – There’s only one bad word and that’s taxes.”
America: the only country that matters…..
proven right now as i cannot see the hulu video due to living in canada….sigh
I thought I already did:it was about Weill Smits
has any of you ever remember “LA LAW”??? he started in it but was 20 lbs lighter.
hw he ‘s Will Smit
Facebook ruins people lives.