What’s on Tonight: U.S. Remakes!

Skins (MTV) — Series premiere. Granted, this looks stupid and I wouldn’t waste my time with it. But there’s a greater evil here, and it’s butt-hurt fans of the U.K. version. Again, I can’t stress this enough: if you see someone acting possessive about the “integrity” of the original version of a show about teenagers doing drugs and hooking up, you MUST punch them in the genitals. HARD. Aim to sterilize.

Being Human (Syfy) — Series premiere. An American remake of the Brit series of the same name, this features a vampire, a werewolf, and a ghost living together in a Boston brownstone. I haven’t seen any reviews yet (note: I haven’t looked), but I think it actually look kinda good. Promo here.

Harry’s Law (NBC) — Series premiere. Kathy Bates stars in the new legal drama from David E. Kelley (“Boston Legal,” “Ally McBeal”). Seems like it could be blandly entertaining.

Piers Morgan Tonight (CNN) — Series premiere. Now that Larry King has been successfully embalmed, the shamefully terrible journalist takes over his job lobbing softballs to famous people. His first guest: Oprah. Expected hard-hitting question: “Tell me about Australia!”

House (Fox) — The previews during this weekend’s football games promised that this would be House’s greatest challenge yet, which is the exact same promise made in every “House” promo ever. Say, do you think he’ll risk a patient’s life?