Well, this was inevitable: the auto-tuned remix of CBS-2 reporter Serene Branson’s inexplicable brush with aphasia (that’s a fancy word meanin’ she ain’t use words good). And for those of you nancy-pants pollyannas who are worried about Branson’s health: relax, she’s fine.
Reports that she had been hospitalized and possibly suffered a stroke quickly surfaced, but CBS2 denied them, saying that Branson was checked on by an EMT team and was taken home by a friend.
On Monday night, anchors for KCAL-9 reiterated that statement. They said Branson had suffered from “health related problems” but that she is feeling better. They also said that Branson “followed up with a visit to the doctor for medical tests” and hopes to be back on the air soon. [HuffPo]
I’ll admit that I chuckled a little at this remix, but the original video doesn’t make me laugh any more. After she stumbles through the first couple sentences, there’s a look of absolute terror on her face when she says “dareson” — a realization that she can’t form words — and it actually makes me feel sympathy. I’m gonna have to go back to the manufacturer to have that bug taken out. I assure you that the next model of Warming Glow blogger will be more reliably heartless.
p.s. Hey CBS, good call on pulling all YouTube videos:
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I don’t know what’s happening to me, but I didn’t laugh either. What is this, this thing you call, sympathy?
That is a real dareson look she dascos there. I wanted to feel syncons for her, but I couldn’t stop ladrefing. I guess I’m just crenby.
true story: first day of freshman year in high school, crowded hall, girl face plants right in front of me. As I walk by, I say, “Walk much?” Haha, right? Later, when I tell the story to some friends, instead of laughing as I expected, they look horrified. Amid the deafening sound of crickets, someone finally blurted out, “You know she has CP, right?”
/ didn’t know
// not so funny, was it, a**hole?
/// apparently learning nothing, still chuckled at the serene branson thing
Stroke victims give shitty head.
I want to get her in bed so she can moan my name unintelligibly
And that is why we never go full retard people!!!!!!
you stole adam carolla germany or florida bit which he has been doing since the late 90′s on loveline, i’m not gonna stop calling you out until you remove the posts and stop stealing bits
[en.wikipedia.org]
I don’t know how people laugh at her, the shear look of terror in her eyes is kinda frightening. You’re not edgy if you laugh at this, you’re just kind of a dick
woah, the self-righteous police are out in force over this one–sort of like when that pretty cheerleader said she was crippled by her flu shot.
That turned out to be a hoax.
Occam’s Razor, people. Did Miss Teen South Carolina have a stroke or TIA? No, she brain-farted. Which is probably what happened here: a brain fart for a pretty blonde who probably got her job on her looks (or suction) more than her IQ means that, yeah, she sounds like Captain Headwound.
Ooooh, horror in her eyes? That MUST mean she’s stroking out!
OK, armchair doctors–if you tripped over your tongue on a live remote, wouldn’t you be a bit horrified?
Let’s all step back from the shame-o-meter here, and take the planks out of our own eyes before we go picking at the specks in others. If it turns out she had a stroke, or her cameraman slipped her a roofie, then yeah, we can all feel appropriately guilty for being such meanies and laughing.
But until that happens, how about we all just relax our sphincters and laugh, and NOT feel guilty in taking some schadenfreudy pleasure at the embarrassment of another human being.
Lothar,you will rot in a very special hell when you die and so will these autotune asses.
Making fun of anyones misfortune is horrible.
I admit when I first saw it I noticed she looked horrified and felt kinda bad. But I didn’t think anything happened beyond just a simple fumble. I do this ALL the time, especially when I’m on dates or on Red Bull. So I made the remix thinking I could make it look like simple fun.
LOVE,
Jake Benson
p.s. Thanks for the review and exposure! Greatly appreciated. =)
Jessica: funny, I don’t recall you baptizing me, or taking dominion over my soul.
What if I’m an atheist? Will I still rot in your Hell for being insensitive?
Sheesh, if you condemn everyone to Hell for being insensitive, you’re going to have no company in your special little Heaven (of retards and people with spastic colons).
Until/unless you show me medical records demonstrating that this woman experienced an infarction or bleed that has long-term effects on her health, I’m gonna feel quite secure in my chuckling, while you can eat a bag of dicks.
Vince, you don’t want stoke patients, you want epileptics. Well, if you account for the teeth some how.
I guess she shouldn’t have hit that salvia bong before going on air.
wasnt a stroke. it was from “migraines”
Now we can laugh at this semi-attractive bitch.
HA HA.
When I first seen the news report I did feel bad for her but it was a little amusing. But after finding out that she was fine…I thought that remix video was really funny…so was the comment from Lothar about eating a bag of dicks.HaHa
guys she had a freaken stroke, this is not funny.
Sherry you’re a dumb bitch!
yo she seriously did have a stroke smh… i used to laugh but when i found out it was true i feel bad
It wasn’t a stroke – it was something called a ‘migraine with aura’. It hits like a powerful headache, then your brain just starts to misfire all over the damn place. Probably similar to a TIA, but without any real cause. Her mom gets them too, she says. But if you don’t know what’s going on, especially while talking on live TV, you would all probably make you mess your pants. She actually holds it together pretty well, considering.