Hey everybody! Remember when the Louisiana sheriffs kicked out A&E’s production crew for “Steven Seagal: Lawman” because Seagal allegedly kept sex slaves? Remember Seagal’s mysterious “unique physiological reaction” to sexual arousal? Well, prepare your Steven-Seagal-invented-everything memes, because “Lawman” will return with Seagal on duty in Arizona’s Maricopa County with notorious hardass Joe Arpaio.
Deputy Seagal has now landed a new beat: Phoenix, Ariz., where controversial Sheriff Joe Arpaio has welcomed the actor to resume shooting. As a result, A&E has greenlit a third season of Steven Seagal Lawman, with Seagal going on patrol in Maricopa County.
“I have a lot of friends in the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office, so when Sheriff Joe Arpaio invited me to join them, there wasn’t a moment’s hesitation,” Seagal said. “Certain crimes in Arizona are on the rise and now that I live there, I want to help the sheriff fight it the best way I know how. It’s an honor to serve.” [Inside TV]
In case you’re not familiar with Arpaio, he’s the 78-year-old sheriff who introduced tent cities and pink underwear to Arizona jails, among countless other controversial measures. Instead of taking Viagra, he gets his dick hard by thinking about deporting illegal immigrants. Just wait ’til Seagal teaches Arpaio how to front-kick them over the border.
(If nothing here makes sense, go listen to the FilmDrunk Frotcast.)
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Looks like Maricopa County is……Under Siege.
/yeahhhhhhhhhhhh!
“I have a lot of friends in the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office… taught them all front kicks.”
“I have a unique physiological reaction to sexual arousal… it’s called a boner. Not many people have heard of it. Still testing it.”
“I don’t really do well with time and space…or immigrants.”
Looks like no Mexican shall be “Above the Law” lol…..
Does this mean that Bobby Lupo is Mexican??
Segal will take those Mexicans to the bank.
The blood bank.
After eating some bad Mexican food Steven Seagal experiences…..Fire Down Below.
As a resident of Maricopa County (I’ve proudly voted against Arpaio in every election) I have to say – these two dumb asses are perfect for each other. The only question is which one will mug harder for camera time.
A 78 year-old sherriff?
He must be Hard to Kill.
More memes. Please. More Seagal – all day.
My contribution to the meme [www.flickr.com]
I wonder if Seagal will speak to Mexicans in a Mexican accent just like when he talks to southern black men, he sounds like Aunt Jemima.
“Ju know my Judo es muy loco holmes. Don’t test me puto. Tacos!”
The best thing about Sheriff Joe is that, while crime is down across the entire state of Arizona, the crime rate in his county has actually skyrocketed on his dock.
It’s almost like mugging for the cameras and staging PR stunts has nothing to do with deterring crime. Who knew?
*on his watch
No idea why I wrote “dock.” Damn you, Otis Redding!
And lastly, remember you can’t spell “paranoid” without A-R-P-A-I-O.