The Five Best Super Bowl Ads

Every media outlet seems to have their own way of measuring the success of Super Bowl ads. USA Today, for example, has the preposterous Ad Meter, which measures the second-by-second impressions of 282 people in two American towns as the commercials air. By that ridiculous metric, commercials featuring dogs were the best ads last night. (Ordinarily, I wouldn’t disagree with anything that ranks commercials with dogs at the top, but I wasn’t won over by the selections last night.)
Elsewhere — the bar where I watched the game, for instance — the slapstick violence of Bud Light and Pepsi Max won crowds over. I could tell by the way they barked and clapped like seals when people got hurt. Ha ha, a black man looked at a white woman, so the black lady hit her with a can of cola. Excellent concept, Pepsi.
But forget what the braindead masses liked. For YOU, the human being who is capable of independent thought and critical analysis, I have compiled the five best ads that aired during Super Bowl XLV. Please don’t try to disagree with me, because I arrived at these results by using the ironclad scientific method of my opinion.


It’s odd: I didn’t particularly like this commercial, but its concept is so daringly batsh*t insane that I can’t help but be impressed. Although the ending could have been improved if Alanis Morissette showed up and blew away all the Aztecs and driven off in the car. No? Am I the only one who remembers Dogma? That’s probably for the best.

People are divided on this one: some loved it, others found Eminem’s endorsement a joke given that he shilled for Brisk Iced Tea earlier in the night. It’s a shame that Chrysler watered down its message by using an unnecessary and divisive spokesman, because the concept and writing for the ad is terrific.

I thought the slapstick violence used by Pepsi Max, Snickers, and Bud Light was insulting, and yet I like this ad in which a kid gets hit with a cane. What’s the difference? This has an intelligent premise: I like the way that it spoofs the old Coke commercial with Mean Joe Green, which I always found stupid and sappy.

If you’re remotely Internet-savvy, you were one of the 13 million or so people who watched this last week. That doesn’t make it any less adorable.

Hands down the best commercial of the night. While VW’s “Force” is charming, it has a single punch line built around one aspect of its car. This Audi spot is smartly and cohesively built around the tag line “Escape from the confines of old luxury,” and it does a great job of taking that metaphor and making it literal. Along the way we get some action, several jokes, and a very clear message in which Audi distances itself from Mercedes. Good job, whichever advertising agency made this. You evil reptiles.

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