A Super Bowl (FOX, Sunday) – The Pittsburgh Steelers take on the Green Bay Packers in a championship game featuring more discussion about date rape and sexting than any other in history. The Black Eyed Peas will make discordant noises and sneak in a bunch of made-up slang that means curse words during halftime. If you watch, wave to Matt!
Super Bowl’s Greatest Commercials (CBS, Friday) - You should consider “I don’t care about football, I watch the Super Bowl for the commercials!” as secret code for “punch me in the goddamned face as hard as you can.” Skip the show and read this instead.
Saturday Night Live (NBC, Saturday) - Boy, I’ll be GLAAD when this is over. In an episode straight out of twelve years ago, Dana Carvey hosts with musical guest Linkin Park.
Hockey Afternoon In America (NBC, Sunday) - If you like football, but wish it was faster and whiter, give hockey a try as my Washington Capitals take on the Pittsburgh Penguins. The game is followed by the Freestyle Skiing World Championships, which is a lot like hockey but without scoring. So, like the Caps in the playoffs.
New Jersey Themed Marathons (various, all weekend) – A&E is running a Sopranos marathon, MTV has sixteen hundred hours of “Jersey Shore” and style has an all-day marathon of “Jerseylicious.” Cartoon Network has a marathon of a show called “Destroy Build Destroy” which might be about New Jersey, I haven’t checked.
By request, here’s what happened last night.
[More at TV Squad]
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![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/bill-hader-puppet-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/the-7-best-snl-season-38-musical-performances-150x150.jpg)
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Are you saying that Dana Carvey is gay?
I’m interested to see which old Carvy sketches they bring back. I’m holding my breath for Massive Headwound Harry, and crossing my fingers hoping for no impressions.
I will be watching ‘Fringe’ along with Patty.
Also will view the Super Bowl, along with my friend ‘Alcohol’.
American hero.
By the way, if anyone wants me to transcribe what Annie/Abed were saying in that GiF just ask. I may not hear, but I can lipread like nobody else.
Except for Marlee Matlin. Bitch.
I’m DVRing SNL just to see if he busts out some old characters.
I know it won’t be funny, but I’ll still watch Church Lady. Maybe Kevin Nealon will even show up for a Hans and Franz cameo. What else does he have to do? Sit around and drink beer (If anyone gets that reference we should go bowling some time.)
yes, smegga, please share..
Wait, Smegga…. are you saying you can’t hear?
/awesome…I can say anything about Smegga…. man she’s so hot… i’d love to do terrible things to her with an escargot fork…. mmmmm Smegga…. oh, Shit… wait… she can still read, can’t she? fuck….
Okay, here goes:
Annie – “I gently cup hold of my breast, then your left.”
Abed – “Then I hold up your feet.”
Annie – “I use…two…three…no four of my buttered fingers.”
Annie – “Then I pull out my huge member.”
Abed – “Score!”
Annie – “I flip you over and give you a spanking.”
I don’t know why Annie says she cups her breast and then Abed’s. Maybe she forgot she was the male character or something.
The fingers scene is either ‘buttered’ or ‘magic’ but it seems to be more of the former, honest.
@ILovePaleHoseandPaleHos – Pardon?
@Smegga – I believe it’s “your right breast” instead of “my breast”
/watched this GIF way too much
I like the part when Annie was all not 2 or 3 but 4.
SNL just did a Wayne’s World skit and followed it up with a Church Lady skit.
Ho. Lee. Shit.
thanks smegga.
you guys, i never got the alison brie obsession. i do now.
@MemphisRaines – No, look at how her mouth moves. “My” is said with a clear opening of the mouth, while “your” is said with tightening of the mouth.
By the way, I saw that there was a sign language interpreter doing the National Anthem. That is pretty patronising, but then again, I don’t sign.