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Christina Ricci: Beatnik Stewardess

Written by Matt Ufford / 03.02.11

Christina Ricci has accepted her first leading television role: she’ll play the protagonist in the forthcoming “Pan Am,” ABC’s attempt to ride the “Mad Men” wave with a ’60s drama.

[Ricci] will play the lead, Maggie, a fiery stewardess who is leading a double life – on duty she is a beautiful, perfectly groomed and poised stewardess, and off duty she is earthy, bohemian living among the beatniks and intellectuals of Greenwich Village. [Deadline]

Translation: Maggie is DEE. TEE. EFF. And if there’s one thing Ricci does well, it’s play DTF. Seriously, Black Snake Moan really made me attracted to a sexually abused white trash racist gang rape victim with STDs in ways that I didn’t think were possible. Women chained to radiators shouldn’t be that sexy. Which is why I anchored iron loopholes into the floor of my soundproof basement.

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12 comments
Matt Ufford posted

"Christina Ricci: Beatnik Stewardess"

  1. 03.02.11 at 2:51 pm
    Zack

    Whatever you do, don’t chain ‘em to the pipes. These girls can be surprisingly strong, and sure, giving your basement a good soaking can help get rid of the dead hooker smell, but it’s not fun explaining to a plumber why your windowless basement has soundproofing and a padlocked metal door.

  2. 03.02.11 at 2:54 pm
    Upstate Underdog

    I’m not a big fan of the 60′s, but it did give us the mini-skirt and they had hot stewardesses back then. DTF, indeed.

  3. 03.02.11 at 3:14 pm
    GiantCrab

    Every time I think about Black Snake Moan I regret not having the ability to plug in a guitar and sing the blues into the sultry night air.

  4. 03.02.11 at 4:11 pm
    Erswi

    Matt, expansion bolts or galvanized steel set ramset and epoxied?

    Trust me it’s worth the extra $ for the added torsion resistance.

  5. 03.02.11 at 4:24 pm
    MenaceIISobriety

    She did so well with those chains. I can’t wait till Christmas: maybe get a Scrooged remake?

  6. 03.02.11 at 4:25 pm
    FistfulOAwesome

    It’s not wrong to say I’ve been attracted to Christina Ricci since her Addams Family days if I was 6 at the same time, is it?

  7. 03.02.11 at 8:43 pm
    Moose

    But you weren’t six, were you?

    She’s weird enough that I like her, plus consatantly going braless and see-through is just full of awesomeness. To get the full afect fast forward through most of Prozac Nation and take a look at the twins.

  8. 03.02.11 at 10:49 pm
    Newman

    DTF = Downs Type Forehead

  9. 03.02.11 at 11:12 pm
    Moose (ROCKS NEEDED URGENTLY IN [insert middle eastern country here]!)

    Good one Newman, but that’s just a bigger Tapioca Target.

  10. 03.02.11 at 11:14 pm
    Moose (ROCKS NEEDED URGENTLY IN [insert middle eastern country here]!)

    @FistfulOAwesome; did you take that whole thing into Thursday?

  11. 03.03.11 at 4:29 pm
    brutony

    Um, WTF is DTF? Im serious, someone please answer

  12. 03.03.11 at 7:56 pm
    Pat C.

    Brutony, I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure DTF = “Down To F***”.

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