DirecTV Now Selling Mini Giraffes

DirecTV has an excellent ad campaign thanks to the Opulence and Epic Win commercials, and though they’re narrated by Gregor the Russian billionaire, the real star is his miniature giraffe. Now the ad agency behind the TV spots (Grey New York) has created a website for Sokoblovsky Farms, PetiteLapGiraffe.com, that shares fun facts about PLGs in humorously broken English.

Petite Lap Giraffes are very funny animal that require special care. They need lots of love. Hugs and kisses every day. Otherwise they make tears.

If you have children, petite lap giraffes no problem. If child is loud, the giraffe will be shy, but does not bite. PLG’s are very clean. With training they will go in box like cats. Allergies never a problem.

Size: adult is 76 centimeters, baby is 15 centimeters tall. Weight is 4.5kg unless the giraffe is fat cow then 5.44kg

Health problems: none. They are the best.

Living conditions: PLG’s love being indoors in filtered air conditioning. If they can listen to music of Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov it is dream.

There’s also a “live cam” that shows you what the bull, Vladimir, is doing at any given time. The result is a fake website so meticulously created that it’s actually depressing. Dammit, DirecTV! You shouldn’t be able to make those adorable tiny giraffes seem so real without following through and genetically engineering them.

[via AdWeek]