
Below is a local news report from ABC’s Houston affiliate that investigates a Christian-themed pole-dancing class in Old Town Spring, Texas. It’s just like a regular pole-dancing class, except students dance to Christian music instead of Def Leppard or Pussycat Dolls.
“God gives us these bodies and they are suppose to be our temples and we are suppose to take care of them and that’s what we are doing,” instructor Crystal Dean said… ”I do feel a spiritual connection whenever you have the music on and it’s singing about lifting you up and being closer to God. You do feel that,” she said.
There are those who just can’t get past the stigma. ”In Gods eyes, it wouldn’t be attractive,” said nineteen-year-old Eric Purgason. Purgason’s family runs Lord and Nature, a Christian gift shop neighboring the Christian pole dancers. [ABC Local]
The Christian gift shop is next to the Christian pole dancers, across the street from the Christian organic food market, and caddie corner from the Christian taxidermy shop. It’s the heart of the Christian district.
Personally, I like to pretend that Golgotha was the first strip club. “Gentlemen, put your hands together! Please welcome to the center cross… JESUS OF NAZARETH!” And then Jesus comes out in his little loincloth to Nine Inch Nails. ….I’m going to hell, aren’t I?



I hear altar boys have been doing pole dances for years.
(Ha ha, good one Jay)
“Gentlemen, put your hands together! Please welcome to the center cross… JESUS OF NAZARETH!”
Too soon, man. Just too soon.
Thanks for this post.
Pole-dancing is the only way to get even the staunchest of animation nerds to stop arguing about why their favorite shows are better.
I am so sick and tired of Christians like this giving Christians like me a good name. Hello, not all of us are open with our sexuality!
SMH.
of course the instructor’s name is Crystal.
Funny, I would’ve assumed a guy named Purgason would’ve taken more of a middle-of-the-road approach to issues of faith.
There’s the Hammock Hut, that’s on third. There’s Hammocks-R-Us, that’s on third too. You got Put-Your-Butt-There. That’s on third. Swing Low, Sweet Chariot… Matter of fact, they’re all in the same complex; it’s the hammock complex on third.
There’s no I in TEAM, but there is a POLE in Pontius Pilate.
HEY JUDAS!
CARPET MATCH THE DRAPES?
“That doesn’t really make you a good Christian when you judge other people.”
You were saying?
How about some pole smoking while you’re at it ladies, know what I’m sayin’?
Nothing new.
Priests have been pole riding for centuries.
Oooops.
Just to be clear, I came up with that shitty joke on my own and will not apologize for it.
Last song of the night is usually Rapture.
and only 2 miles from my house…………..
He died for those spins.
@Otto Man; you drove down a long dusty, rough road to to get the pun and I appreciate it.
People who shoehorn their religion into everything are insufferable, but they’re easier to make fun of than retarded people so lets have at ‘em.
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