Like many people, I’m oddly fascinated by Paula Deen. There’s something about her portly figure, gunmetal hair helmet, and practiced folksiness that I find sinister. She strikes me as a villain from a fairy tale. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a secret dungeon where she kept orphaned children in cages, feeding them nothing but butter before eventually eating them.
All of this makes me enjoy any and all jokes at her expense, from getting hit in the face with a ham to the new greatest single-serving Tumblr: Paula Deen Riding Things. It’s got everything you could want: Paula Deen riding an orca, Paula Deen riding Megan Fox, Paula Deen riding Falcor from The Neverending Story, Paula Deen riding an otter… it goes on and on, and it’s terrific. This is the first time in two days I’ve cared about something besides Charlie Sheen.
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I was pleased to see her riding a ham, but need to see her riding a stick of butter.
An organization related to one I’m part of was going to have a conference in Savannah, GA, and they thought it’d be fun to have Paula Deen be the keynote speaker. This is an educational organization, so yeah, they were hoping she’d do it [i]gratis[/i], but they were also realistic and, knowing that she was a celebrity (granted, a low-level celebrity, but a celebrity nonetheless), they weren’t above giving her some $$$.
But the draw was that she should have a realistic rate to talk for 20 minutes at a conference of teachers in her hometown.
Yeah, her publicist said something along the lines of “Paula doesn’t get out of bed for less than $200K”
Needless to say, the conference is going on minus the queen of fried fat.
She is a villain! But not from a fairy tale. Paula Dean is Mom from Futurama.
@Marra, I was thinking villain more in line with Ma Bennett from “Justified”
Paula Deen riding Charlie Sheen?
That’s awesome. Also, that’s not Megan Fox. It’s Mia Rosing. But we should all just be happy that there are two people who look like that.
Why is there no Paula Dean riding Paula Dean? They can double up on a stick of butter. It’ll be a warm up to Paula Dean-squared gravy wrestling.