Like many people, I’m oddly fascinated by Paula Deen. There’s something about her portly figure, gunmetal hair helmet, and practiced folksiness that I find sinister. She strikes me as a villain from a fairy tale. Like, I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a secret dungeon where she kept orphaned children in cages, feeding them nothing but butter before eventually eating them.
All of this makes me enjoy any and all jokes at her expense, from getting hit in the face with a ham to the new greatest single-serving Tumblr: Paula Deen Riding Things. It’s got everything you could want: Paula Deen riding an orca, Paula Deen riding Megan Fox, Paula Deen riding Falcor from The Neverending Story, Paula Deen riding an otter… it goes on and on, and it’s terrific. This is the first time in two days I’ve cared about something besides Charlie Sheen.