Sad news, everybody: the Ohio man who didn’t laeve his chair for two years has passed away. This comes as a bit of a shock to me, but it turns out that having your skin fused to a chair with feces while maggots eat your already-dead flesh are actually NOT signs of a healthy lifestyle. Huh. I guess I’ll get up to use the bathroom from now on.
Police said the 43-year-old man was morbidly obese and had not moved from his recliner in two years.
When rescuers arrived at the home on Washington Street Sunday, they had to first cut him out of the chair and then cut a hole in an outside wall to get him out of the house.
He was taken to the hospital where he remained for a few days… No word on whether the adults living with him will face charges. [WTOV9]
The loss of human life is supposed to be a somber affair, and maybe I’d take this a little more seriously if this guy had lived his life as an actual human being and not some perverse manifestation of futuristic torpor. Really, his life ended two years ago when he decided to live in his own excrement. Peace out, fatty. May you smell better in death than you did in life.
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Smell ya later, smell ya later forever. R.I.P.
I have a zillion tabs open in my browser, and the only text I can see in this one is “R.I.P. Guy F.”
One day, my spikey-haired nemesis. One day.
Godspeed, Lazy Boy.
If anything, the adults living with him should be given medals for tolerance. And then plaques for being tolerant and being in Ohio at the same time.
So, um, you know – who gets the chair now? Girlfriend? Roommate? Sotheby’s?
@ILPHAPH, sell it on eBay?
Listen, sometimes death is truly a welcomed comfort. Hang on, let me open this… hey! I got hired by the National Suicide Prevention Network. Time to dismantle these a-holes from the inside.
Oh perchance to dream, Danger.
The priest delivered a beautiful euology: “Fatty, fatty, 2 by 8, can’t fit through the Pearly Gate.”
Man, even my fat, lazy old cat gets up to eat and use the litter box.
How is it humanly possible to be lazier than a fat old cat?
ADAM CAROLLA CALLED HIM A FATTY FIRST!
The authorities may not want to rule out the chair as an accessory in Mr Creosote’s demise.
[filmdrunk.uproxx.com]
Shouldn’t this become a “Law and Order” episode where the roommate and GF get charge with “Depraved Indifference”?
/my favorite L&O charge
Who will write his blog now?!?
Where do I apply for his job?
To be fair to the others living with him, they probably couldn’t escape his gravitational field to go for help.
Wait. Are you telling me the chair was too skinny for him to get up?
I bet the last two days confused the shit out of the maggots.
Wow, whatever happened to compassion? Yes, it was sick the way this man lived but obviously there was something very wrong upstairs. So yeah…..it’s disgusting. But he clearly needed help, and instead – we turn him into a monster. I’d say the real monsters are the people who lived with him and said/did nothing for way too long.
I ask you this, Rachel – who are the *real* monsters here?? Can you answer me that??
Oh, you already did. Nice work!
I agree that the GF and the roomie are monsters and should be charged wuth some sort of crime – negligent homicide, perhaps? Really, if you love someone, and they just shat themselves, wouldn’t you INSIST on getting that person cleaned up? I just can’t imagine living in a house that smelled like rotten – poop, pee, person, God only knows what.
What a fat piece of shit
Another comment thread full of compassionless trolls that proves why there’s no hope for humanity.
do the trolls prove there is no hope or does the guy who sat in his chair for three years prove that there is no hope?
what about the people who let him?
@Penny, Is it wrong to be strong? You be the judge.
Um, the “real” monsters here are the puke-green scaly horned hellspawn that lived in his hall closet and hypnotized his roommates to think he was happier this way. There are three victims here.
Having resided in both Ohio and Florida, I feel uniquely qualified to bring y’all the obvious conclusion to this Ohio story. With fatty now gone to his eternal reward, the GF and roomie, after an appropriate mourning period of say,14 minutes, will realize how close this unspeakable ordeal has brought them and begin to plan a celebration of their beautiful new-found love with a sunset wedding on a beach in –where else?– Florida! Some may scoff that romance is dead, but I see this happy union flourishing forever in a gently used doublewide on the outskirts of Ocala accompanied by a blind three-legged pitbull-mix named for the man who gave his life so these two lovebirds could be together …