Blonde vs. Bear (Animal Planet) — Series premiere. I think of this as a more specific version of “Man vs. Wild” that panders to the Internet. As Drew Magary noted, “Oh, my money is definitely on the bear. It’s like rock-paper-scissors. Bear beats blonde. Blonde beats traffic ticket. Traffic ticket angers bear.” (Actually, conservationist Ann Bryant is the blonde, and she’s out to help save bears.)
Parks and Recreation (NBC) — Finally, new episodes return to NBC’s Thursday comedy block. The long-awaited Harvest Festival is finally upon the town of Pawnee.
Community (NBC) — Alison Brie and Danny Pudi were on G4′s “Attack of the Show” the other night, and Brie revealed that she at one point had her tongue pierced. Then she wagged her tongue around while the camera zoomed in on her mouth. It was a religious experience for me, and I’ve included the video below so that you too can know God’s love. (GIF via)
Archer (FX) — Malory has a brush with cancer on tonight’s episode, which couldn’t possibly be better news. I love cancer jokes.
American Idol (Fox) — In the interest of professional relevance, I actually caught a couple minutes of last night’s show. Some chick sang the song from Pocahontas, and that was enough of that.
Bones (Fox) — Bones and Booth get stuck in an elevator during a blackout. It’s the perfect show for people who like “Castle” but wish the stars were less attractive and had less chemistry.
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Based on the promos I think the one that gets breast cancer is actually Sterling. Sterling Archer. Sterling Malor-. Okay, technically it is Malory…
YES! That .gif of Alison is EXACTLY what I was looking for. God bless you Uff.
Blonde vs Bear
Also known as “Swedish meatball night at the Pink Triangle Cafe”.
Way to bring the A++ game today Uff. With all the times I’ve needed to change my pants after today’s posts, I’m convinced that your next move needs to be to open up a dry cleaning service. Revenues from your readers alone would make you a millionaire within a year.
allison brie defines stacked
hot damn Alison Brie is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!
I need that Annie Adderall shirt in my life.
what is up with all the purple on community? and all the other shows for that matter. have you noticed?
I have no idea what krumpin’ is, but it just ruined my jeans.
That lady has the most wonderful breasts.
That’s good blogging.
Good God… the things I would do to Alison Brie…
I would give her the worst 26 seconds of her life. Without even asking.
I’m trying really REALLY hard not to stalk Alison Brie, but she ain’t makin’ it easy for me, goddammit!
uhh, eeehhhhh, J-5, what’s happening to me???? Ehhh, uhhhhhh.
L’IL SEBASTIAN!
Do i win anything for recognizing underage French prostitue/soccer groupie Zahia Dehar? I mean aside from a a visit from FIFA and Interpol.
David Boreanz is better looking than Nathan Fillion and Deschanel cuter than Stana Katic, but for some reason the Bones leads are less attractive than Castle’s leads.
Weird, but it’s probably due to the smoking hot chemistry between Fillion and Stana.
I can’t stop watching that GIF…Alison Brie gets better and better…I want to play Black Ops with her
Yeah Archer’s middle name is Mallory. His codename is ” Duchess “, which was chosen randomly from the ISIS computer.
And happened to be the name of his mother’s last dog.
Mom: “Who I loved so much – ”
Archer “That it was creepy and disturbing” ?
@Smegga, “David Boreanz is better looking than Nathan Fillion and Deschanel cuter than Stana Katic” – I’ve seen some lies on the internet before but those two lies are ridiculous.
@Kitty – Not a lie, just my opinion. Fillion is attractive because he has charisma, is funny, can act and is physically good looking. However, Boreanz, in terms of looks alone, is better looking, which is why he has never gotten far in movies because he doesn’t offer anything else apart from brooding good looks.
Katic is gorgeous but can look poor at certain times on screen. Deschanel is the safer, more generic in regards to looks.
Maybe my opinion does not matter since I’m a heterosexual male (over-share), but I didn’t get the David Boreanz thing, first off the gaydar alert mechanism goes off and he doesn’t seem like the kinda guy to have a beer with (unless he is buying). Also, a bit too much hair product which could be a fire hazard. I guess Viggo Mortensen, a young Clint Eastwood, Colin Farrell, etc., that type would be the thing that most women would like deep down. But my knowledge of women lessens every day.
Emily Deschanel is awesome, but my objectivity is somewhat corrupted by the motorboat factor. But Stana Katic, is certainly no slouch.
Does anybody else read Stana Katic as Santa Kouric…or Satan Kouric?
@La Schmoove – I always have to remind myself it is Stana and not Stanic, after one of the former players of Chelsea. Have to catch myself.