The Tonight Show (NBC) — Viral sensation Rebecca Black makes her first late-night appearance as Leno’s second guest this evening. There’s nothing else on tonight that I could possibly want to watch less than this, and yet I feel compelled to lead with it. I blame Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday. (Watch a BRVTAL METAL cover of “Friday” below.)
Marcel’s Quantum Kitchen (Syfy) Series premiere. Having already pissed off anyone who cares about cooking shows, former “Top Chef” contestant Marcel Vigneron will attempt to appeal to geeks instead.
Best in Film: The Greatest Movies of Our Time (ABC) — Hosts Tom Bergeron and Cynthia McFadden walk the viewer through 15 different categories of movie greatness (Greatest Line, Most Romantic Screen Couple) as determined by American voters. I expect it to be like an episode of “America’s Funniest Videos” but with fewer sound effects.
Traffic Light (Fox) — I haven’t checked in on this promising but uneven comedy since its premiere; I plan to give it another shot tonight.
Big Brian: The Fortune Seller (truTV) — Series premiere. It’s “Antiques Roadshow” for people with head injuries.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Eric Stonestreet and Sarah Chalke on Conan; Katie Couric on Letterman; Duran Duran follows Black on Leno; Rainn Wilson, Abbie Cornish, and The Gaslight Anthem on Kimmel; and Brian Williams and Dwight Howard on Fallon. Full listings at TV Squad.