Dancing With The Stars (ABC, 8 p.m.) — Season premiere. Never watched a minute of DWTS before, but my Steelers homerism will likely compel me to tune in long enough for Hines Ward to make a fool of himself. Is Kirstie Alley the fattest woman to ever take part on DWTS? Not sure, but Wendy Williams has to be the tranniest.
Skins (MTV, 10 p.m.) — Season finale. Possibly the last chance to see if the Justice Department will seize your television for watching child pornography on cable.
No Reservations (Travel Channel, 9 p.m.) — After trips to Cambodia, Haiti and Nicaragua, Anthony Bourdain treks through Vienna. Not much hope for monologues about abject human suffering and dispossession this week. Bourdain might have to recreate the cuckoo clock speech from The Third Man instead.
American Pickers (History Channel, 9 p.m.) — Season premiere. Mike and Frank search through an old South Carolina hardware store and a Georgia man’s stash of memorabilia. Anything without a Confederate Flag on it might fetch millions.
LATE NIGHT GUESTS: Dana Carvey, Dr. Michio Kaku and British Sea Power on Letterman; Zachary Levi, Lisa Lampanelli and Raphael Saadiq on Leno; Liv Tyler, Mark Cuban and Brett Dennen on Kimmel; Kiefer Sutherland, Emily Browning and Little Dragon on Fallon and Steve Martin on Colbert. Full listings at TV Squad.
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Anyone else notice Bourdain seems to have aged overnight? He looks like my hard-boozing, coke-snortin’ grandfather, Anthony Bourdain.
I think I remember some curly haired fat chick being on DWTS. Pretty sure she is the fattest to ever be on. Not sure who Chelsea Kane is, but she is hot and hotter than Kendra.
Also, Monday is officially the worst night of tv.
Mike, You Team Leno motherfucker
If Michio Kaku’s hair is an event horizon.
No “than” statement. Kaku leaves the mystery up to us.
Never watched a minute of DWTS before, but my Steelers homerism will likely compel me to tune in…
NBC was counting on this when they booked Ben Roethlisberger to make a guest appearance on ‘Law and Order: SVU’. Cast against type, no less.
/can’t wait for the courtroom scene where they admit “Old Hickory” into evidence.
$10 says Kirstie Alley farts constantly.
Odds on Hines Ward putting a cheap shot on another contestant?
@PamsRack: He’s definitely gonna be putting a crack back on Macchio
Every time I see Kirstie Alley I can’t believe how fine she was on Cheers and how she is now. I mean seriously… Rebecca Howe! Smokin hot!
Who knew that Kirstie would go from Summer School to fat camp?
Macchio will sweep that bitches legs. Game over.
Who was that masked Ape?
*waives lacey kerchief*
DANCING WITH THE STARS…IS…JERICHO!!!!
Where is Patty Boots? This thread needs that avatar!
Holy fuck, did House ever jump the shark tonight.
[x]Monster truck diagnosis scene
[x]House actually marrying a hooker
[x]Serial cannibal/murderer patient
Sheeeeeeyit.
Thats not so much shark jumping he has always loved like all those things
I am so ashamed of myself for actually watching this last night. I watched to see Kendra shake her whore booty, and to see Ralph Maccio (Because I support the school of olde). Kendra looked good, and moved alright, Maccio did a damn good job, but the big surprise was Kirstie. She didn’t look good, but she knows how to dance. Took the second highest score behind MAccio and his partner. Oh god, I feel so gay.
@ Bob – that’s because you are.