The CW unveiled its new fall schedule, which I will share with you because it’s important to know what shows you’re never going to watch. New shows added to the rotation are:
- “Hart of Dixie,” in which Rachel Bilson stars as a New York City doctor who inherits a practice in “a small Southern town inhabited by an eclectic and eccentric group of characters.”
- “Ringer,” starring Sarah Michelle Gellar as a woman on the run from the mob who poses as her twin sister — who is also wanted. I think that’s one of the stupidest f*cking things I’ve ever heard, but Josh is looking forward to it.
- “H8R,” the reality show hosted by Mario Lopez in which celebrities meet the people who despise them. You lost me at “Mario Lopez.”
- “The Secret Circle.” Vampires are sooooo yesterday! The hot new things that don’t exist are witches.
The CW: making lousy shows for teenagers and emotionally stunted women since 2006. Full schedule below.
MONDAY
8 pm Gossip Girl
9 pm HART OF DIXIE
TUESDAY
8 pm 90210
9 pm RINGER
WEDNESDAY
8 pm H8R
9 pm America’s Next Top Model
THURSDAY
8 pm The Vampire Diaries
9 pm THE SECRET CIRCLE
FRIDAY
8 pm Nikita
9 pm Supernatural
(via EW)
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I had to read the description of “Ringer” 3 times, just to make sure that I wasn’t slowly turning retarded.
You lost me at “Mario Lopez.”
Funny, they lost me at “H8R.”
I was really hoping for another remake of Melrose Place.
You lost me at The CW.
You lost me at the banner pic. Mainly because I just stared at it for 20 minutes.
More women sharing ice cream cones, please.
(Skip women sharing “ice cream” in a cup though)
The other day on Twitter I came up with a show called “Secret Nazi Rabbi.” Just throwing that out there, CW. Just throwing that out there.
Leighton Meester is dating Justin Long. See you on Saturday, rapture.
I love these hilarious fake shows you insert into the actual schedule. H8R. No WAY that’s real. Good joke, Matt!
Oh, CW, you’re the worst.
My love of Buffy (and that teenage-years defining Cruel Intentions kiss) will make Ringer worth at least one viewing from me. It’s the least I can do for SMG (I do NOT recognize the Prinze part of her name), especially after not seeing Scooby-Doo 2 and The Return and TMNT and Suburban Girl and The Air I Breathe and Veronika Decides to Die.
What a (mostly) terrible career.
You lost me.
Wow, the CW is really committed out to forcing our young people to watch shitty shows.
I liked “Hart of Dixie” when it came out in 1991 as Doc Hollywood.
@Burnsy, if that is true I want the rapture immediately.
…and emotionally stunted women…
Hey man, my wife watches a few of those CW shows. Her feelings are really gonna be hurt when she finishes rearranging her china doll collection and reads this.
I stare and I stare and no One Tree Hill.
Something, something… herpes.
@Burt I liked Hart of Dixie when it was called Everwood and had a guy named “Treat” starring in it.
Will Mario Lopez get to meet his H8rs in the pilot?
Sounds like it will help McHale make some good “Soup”
With Bilson and Meester on board the CW’s “upfronts” should also include “from behinds” and “standing ups” and “kneelings” and….
Sorry – lost my train of thought.
You know, seeing as they were willing to green-light “Ringer,” I’m thinking I should head over to CW and pitch them my idea for a show about a college a cappella group that also solves mysteries. It’s basically Glee meets Veronica Mars.
Call Hart of Dixie whatever you want but I’ll take Rachel Bilson over Michael J. Fox and Treat Williams any day.
@ Aeyo’s Cot: According to Feinberg @hitfix.com, “Unkillable soap opera “One Tree Hill” will be back at midseason.” So yes, rapture on mofos!
Wow, other than SMG, this wins the award for the schedule with nothing to masturbate to.
Why didn’t they just go the full route and call Hart of Dixie Southern Exposure?
*sigh*
Just like herpes.
But … but … One. Tree. Hill? Where? Can’t function. AGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, no high def and no nudity; why does CW exist?