Mark Burnett, who established himself as the biggest name in reality television with hits like “Survivor” and “The Voice” (not to mention “Sarah Palin’s Alaska”), will shift his focus to scripted TV with a ten-hour miniseries for History that will tell different stories from the Bible.
The series will have five two-hour parts, Mr. Burnett said, and each will probably contain two or three biblical stories. He and his team are selecting the stories for the series, he said [translation: they're reading the Bible for the first time], which will be in production through next year and shown in 2013.
“Some of the stories are obvious,” Mr. Burnett said, like Noah’s Ark, Exodus and accounts of the birth and death of Jesus. But the project will also cover stories that Mr. Burnett said he was unfamiliar with. [NYT]
Well, Mr. Burnett, I’d like to take this opportunity to familiarize you with the official version of Sodom and Gomorrah. Did you know that people used to have sex with rocks painted to look like God’s face?
Anyway, I guess it’s about time Hollywood warmed up Cecil B. DeMille’s work and served it to us. After this does awesome ratings, maybe Burnett can get God on board for a Rapture-themed reality show: twenty sinners compete to change their ways and repent, but only one will get to Heaven. Tentatively titled “Who Will Save Your Soul?”
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I don’t believe in this project.
Tentatively titled, “Who Will Save Your Soul?”
Have you been looking through Guerro’s notes?
So basically Kieślowski’s “Dekalog” but dumbed down eighty percent and filled with Nazis and/or 2012 references.
Now I have that shitty song by Jewel stuck in my head.
Tentatively titled “Who Will Save Your Soul?”
Hosted by Ray Lewis or GTFO.
in production through next year and shown in 2013
Too bad the real end of the world is October 21st, 2011. Maybe Gawd or Harold Camping or the Mayans will make an exception for the creator of Survior and let it ride till 2013.
But VH1 has taught me that there is no God.
The only problem is, the most interesting parts of the Bible have never been verified by archeology. There’s not even a shred of evidence that Jewish slaves were ever in Egypt:
[skeptoid.com]
Me too, UU. I feel like I’m back in middle school.
And don’t even get him started on the Holocaust!
so first larry the cable guy and now just bible stories? so they don’t even show actual history on teh channel anymore? its one thing to take the bible and look at it in a historical sense but to just have the raw stories on the history channel is fucking retarded.
“back then you could get two of every animal on a single ship. HISTORY!”
But Survivor told me the Bible was only good for toilet paper.
I lose my shit every time i watch that cartoon “no you cannot fuck my strange guests”
I look forward to Ezekiel 23:20.
i’m looking forward to the part in the bible when the little bunny helped Jesus move that big rock and everyone celebrated by eating chocolate covered crosses.
Hooray Catholicism!!
When this show airs, nobody who has read the Bible comment! Otherwise it will be ruined for everybody else.
/Hangs head in shame
I went to religious schools for 12 years, and went to church six days a week until I was 18. Then I read a book that turned me into an Atheist.
Yep, you guessed it.
Yep, you guessed it.
“Men With Balls”?
Not surprising at all. This season of Survivor was FILLED with bible thumpers. It was no accident. He obviously views it as a cheap way to get ratings. It works with idiots like Mel Gibson…guaranteed zombie Christian audience.
I won’t be watching Survivor any more I can tell you. So tired of religious nuts.
Can’t wait for the hilarious black sidekick, the romance subplot with Jesus, and the awesome car chase scene at the end.
I was just thinking…is Mark Burnett a recovering substance abuser? Almost all born again Christians are addicts that get brainwashed in recovery. They become the most militant religious nuts (like George Bush).
Is he cynically targeting the Christian audience for easy ratings or is he a “Believer”?
Even my 9 year old noticed how bad Survivor was this season…he nick named the show “Sur-bible”.
tarantino did it